Once Upon a Time

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 2 USERS: B
Might As Well Jump

Storybrooke. Charming would appreciate it if Regina could get that portal open, thank you very much. She explains that magic is different there. Emma kneels next to her nemesis and grabs her arm, which is all it takes to revive Regina's powers. Charming chases the wraith into the hat portal, but our dear old Chintz Monster grabs Emma's leg and drags her in behind him. Snow screams that she can't lose her daughter again and jumps in after her. Regina refrains from screaming, "BEST DAY EVER!" Charming dives off the railing to follow his best girls into oblivion (if Regina is telling the truth, which...ha) or wherever, but the portal closes and he faceplants right on the floor. A modicum of restraint, Regina still manages not to scream, "BEST DAY EVER," but I can't stop cackling. Poor Charming.

Enchanted Forest. Phillip is now lying atop the same deathbed where Aurora once slumbered. Aurora mentions that the palace was to be their home for eternity. Mulan asks how she ended up there in her cursed state. Aurora: "You're not the only one who knows about sacrifice." You go, girl. It's then that Mulan gives Aurora the medallion -- but not in the way Rumpy gave it to Regina. She stows it in a satin sack first, and says her rival should have it. Aurora thanks her. Phillip's girlfriends seem to have reached a detente.

Storybrooke. Charming feels up the floor, like that's going to reopen the portal. He cries a little (oh and writers, directors and actor -- I love this crying, I am not kidding you, but I'm suddenly afraid you'll mistake my reveling for mocking, which I guess it kind of is, but I mock only with love; Charming is awesome), and turns his attention to Regina. "WHERE ARE THEY?" Regina says (and probably lies) that she has no idea. Charming demands to know if the women are dead. Regina non-answers that the curse destroyed all the lands. Charming reiterates. "ARE THEY DEAD?" Regina: "I DON'T KNOW." He closes in on Regina as he says he should have killed her, himself. Regina's all, "What's stopping you," but then she magics him up against the wall. The trees on her awesome wallpaper spring to life and twist into his restraints. As Charming chokes, Regina mocks him for thinking he's a heroic prince, when he's really just the son of a shepherd (and a kindred spirit to Jack Shephard). She says, "I should have killed you when I could. And now...now I can." Um? So you are killing him when you could...can whatever. It's not just me, right? That taunt was just weird.

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Once Upon a Time




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