Once Upon a Time
Broken

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Might As Well Jump

Enchanted Forest. Mulan senses a disturbance in the force or whatever and heads toward some nearby steps. Noticing some cracks, she kneels to examine them. Just then a cheap Halloween decoration bursts up through the floor, knocks Mulan over and flies toward Aurora and Phillip. It pauses long enough to give us a good laugh. My mother calls, "Don't you and Scott have a Halloween decoration that looks just like that?" Pretty much. It might be broken. Note to self: Dig out decorations over the weekend. [Note: I was thinking a Dementor from Harry Potter! -- Rachel.] Aurora and Phillip aren't from our world, so they are understandably not used to such extreme tackiness and cower and terror. Phillip rushes toward it with his sword and tries to slay the Chintz Monster, but only manages to knock off its bling -- a yuan medallion. The Chintz Monster flies off. Phillip picks up the bling -- his first mistake.

Public Service Announcement. A lot of people seem bothered by all the different accents you hear on the show -- since the characters are all from the same place. The thing is -- they're not. They're from the same universe, but they live in different regions, countries and whatnot. How many accents can you hear just on the Isle of Great Britain? Heck, how many English accents can you hear just in London? For that matter, look at all the regional accents in the U.S. Only Boston-area readers will fully appreciate this one, but my cousin moved to Colorado for a few years. One night, he was tending bar, and a female customer came up and ordered a beer. He turned around and -- based only on her accent -- said, "You're from Revere!" Freaked out, because she was indeed from Revere, the girl asked how he knew. Kevin replied, "I'm from Malden." So, you know, stop treating the various accents as if they're a problem, because you just look silly. Interesting? Fine. Problematic. Not so much.

Storybrooke. We open on the chipped teacup, as Belle and Rumpy return to his shop. He asks her to wait while he finds her something to wear, but once in his back room, he opens a locked cabinet, dons some black leather gloves and opens a golden case, from which he removes the yuan medallion. Commercial.

Mayoral Manse. Dr. Whale pounds on the door. Regina answers with a satisfied smirk as she wonders if he's going to kill her. Pretty much, but he wants to make her suffer first. Ooh, I just wonder who he is -- who he really is. Regina addresses the mob. "You wanted to see your Queen. Well, my dears, here...she...is..." She raises her arms then stretches them out toward the crowd. Everyone cowers in terror, but nothing happens. Once they realize she's powerless, Whale manhandles her, but Emma rushes up and orders him to let Regina go. Whale wonders why he should listen to Emma, so she points out that she's still the sheriff. Charming knows that's not going to cut it with his fellow Enchanted Forestians, so he reminds them that Emma saved them all. Snow adds that no matter what Regina did, it doesn't justify a lynching. Whale's unimpressed. He's not from this world, after all. Charming inserts himself between his daughter and the doctor. Whale: "Back off. You're not my prince." Charming is a bit taken aback. "Who are you, Whale?" Whale says that's his business. Charming counters that his business is making sure Storybrooke doesn't go to hell. They have a lot to figure out and this isn't the way to do it. Snow suddenly fancies herself an old time orator. From the front stop she projects: "And Regina's DEATH won't provide any answers. She needs to be locked up -- for her safety, and more importantly, for ours." I love Ginny's work on this show, and I think I usually make that clear, so I don't feel too guilty about busting a gut over her delivery of the first part of her line. It was like something you'd see in a very bad Middle School production.

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Once Upon a Time

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