Once Upon a Time

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A- | 4 USERS: A-
Might As Well Jump

Storybrooke. Alone in the forest, a still gloved Rumpy drops the medallion to the ground, raises up his Dark One Dagger -- the very dagger that doomed the show to misspelling his name for all eternity -- and says, "The Dark One summons thee." He crouches down and stabs the knife into the ground, near the medallion. Back in her cell, Regina wakes with a gasp. She looks at the searing mark on her palm and gasps again. Back in the forest, black smoke pours up out of the medallion. It materializes into the Chintz Monster. They really should have just co-opted the Smoke Monster from Lost. Anyhow, Chintzy sizes up Rumpy, then flits off into commercial.

Downtown. Emma loads Henry into Red's shiny red sports car, because as a minor, Jared Gilmore can't work too many hours. Once she's alone with her husband and daughter, Snow insists to Emma that they need to talk. Nervous, the poor woman babbles. "Gold can wait. I can't. You're my daughter, and I want to talk to you. I know we have talked -- but we didn't know that we were talking, and we talked about things we probably shouldn't have even talked about -- one night stands and the like." Charming does a double-take. "One night stands?" Snow deadpans. "Whale." Charming: "WHALE?" Snow raises her hand, pretty much showing Charming that he can just talk to it. "We were cursed. That is neither here nor there." I cannot express how much I love that exchange! I love it so much, I'm starting a new paragraph.

Snow turns her attention back to Emma. "The point is, we did not know that we were mother and daughter, and now we do, so please, let's talk." Emma asks what she wants to talk about. Snow: "We're together -- finally, and I can't help but think you're not happy about it." Emma insists she is, but explains that no matter the circumstance, for 28 years she only knew one thing -- that her parents sent her away. Snow says they did it to give Emma her best chance -- exactly what Emma told Henry, when first they met. Deliciously, that's not good enough for Emma. "You did it for everyone, because that's who you are -- leaders, heroes, princes and princesses and that's great, and amazing, and... wonderful, but it doesn't change the fact that for my entire life, I've been alone."

Snow tells Emma, "If we hadn't sent you away, you would have been cursed, too." Emma replies, "But we would have been together. Which curse is worse?" Um, no, you would have been an infant for 28 years, living with another family -- that is, if Regina's guards didn't kill infant-you on sight, Emma. I'm not mad at Emma for what she said. I'm mad that the writers didn't give Snow or Charming a chance to try and set her straight. This is a classic example of what I think of as TV Talk. You know what I mean. There are times when TV characters don't respond how real people respond and it frustrates the heck out of me, particularly in a well-written drama. They're holding back, of course, so that we can revel in Emma's angst for a while, and I'm all about reveling in fictional angst, but either Snow or Charming could have (and should have) said something in response to Emma. Emma wouldn't have to accept it, and we'd have the same result, except I wouldn't be so aggravated right now. Anyhow, Emma stays on script and tells her parents they need to find Gold. Charming grabs Snow's hand. We cut to...

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Once Upon a Time




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