Once Upon A Time in the Enchanted Forest, Robin Hood breaks into Rumpelstiltskin's manor in order to steal a magic wand. Rumpy quickly subdues the thief, locks him up and tortures him. After Belle frees Robin, Rumpy is angry. He's also distressed that Robin grabbed the wand on his way out the door. All Belle can offer in response is a lame, "I saw good in him." Rumpy insists she accompany him, when he sets out to catch the thief.
In exchange for Robin intel, the sodden Sheriff of Nottingham wants a night (or at least 20 minutes -- and come on, he's soused enough that 20 minutes is probably overly optimistic) with Belle, but Rumpy proposes another bargain, which I'll cover in the recap. Suffice it to say, Soddenham comes around to Rumpy's point of view.
Robin uses the lifted wand to restore the health of an ailing woman. Rumpy wants to do him in, but Belle is sure their thief has a heart of gold and points out that his patient is pregnant. Rumpy lets his magical arrow miss its mark and, in doing so, earns a hug from Belle. Robin and the not-so-much-a-Maid Marian flee.
Rumpy and Belle return to his estate. He escorts her to his library and while he pretends it's just another room for her to clean, we know the truth. If you managed not to sing, "Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme..." you're a better man than I, Gunga Din. I mean, I don't even root for this couple and yet....
Storybrooke. Present. Gold dreams that he turns Henry into a china doll and smashes him to pieces. Were Belle there and herself, I'm sure she'd think he was just trying to make a friend for Chip.
Upon learning that Nealfire is Henry's dad, Regina is less than thrilled that Rumpy is Henry's grandfather. She reminds Gold he always chooses darkness. Just because she's a liar doesn't mean she's wrong. Regina visits Belle before she's discharged from the hospital, and magics up an enchanted matchbook. When she hands it to Belle, Belle becomes her cursed self -- Lacey.
Lacey is a little… racy. I'm sorry. I've known for weeks this episode was coming, so I should have something better than that for you, but then madmen blew up my city. My Captain Obvious identity has assumed the helm of the few synapses that continue to fire. Anyhoodle, when Gold goes to pick up Belle, she's already left the hospital for The Rabbit Hole. Now she simply remembers Gold as a hospital visitor, but at least she's stopped screaming.
Gold confronts Regina, who blows him off, so he turns to David next. Since David managed to win Snow's heart -- even while they were both laboring under false memories -- Gold thinks David can be of help and reminds our prince that if he does so, Rumpy will be indebted to him. David, who understands "we are one," tells Gold to show Belle the man with whom she first fell in love.
Gold takes Lacey out for dinner. He spills wine on her, so she takes off, allegedly to clean up, but really to make out with Soddenham in an alley. Gold finds them and scares off Soddenham, but Lacey is not impressed. She confesses she only agreed to dinner in an attempt to be nice and says, "But that's not me. That's you."
Later, Lacey catches Gold beating the bejesus out of her suitor. Instead of being appalled, she is a little turned on. Dun dun dun! I have to say, I think this is a smart move. I love Carlyle and de Ravin separately, but I've been unable to buy into them as a couple. If/since David is right about post-curse Enchanted Forestians being an amalgam of their original selves and their cursed selves, maybe I'll find it easier to accept Belle with Rumpy, after she's explored her dark side.
In other news, David and Snow bring Emma to the magically concealed bean field. Once Emma and Anton catch up, she realizes her parents want to use the beans to bring them back to the Enchanted Forest and she's not thrilled about that. Maybe I'm having a Libby/Hurley moment, but for about a half second, I found myself 'shipping Emma and Anton. Is it just me? He's so much nicer than Neal.
After a conversation with Emma (about Nealfire), Regina suspects the Charming family is up to good which, in Regina's book, is no good. Upon seeing Snow, Charming, and the Dwarfs return from work, she uses a locator spell (or possibly, as my son suggests, Fidelity Investments) to find the bean field. In other other news, Tamara and Greg bring to town the one man they can count on to do their evil bidding: HOOK!
I will be back with the full recap, ASAP. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then come on over to the forum, where we're full of beans.
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Once Upon A Time, on Once Upon A Time, In New York, Neal introduces Tamara to Emma. During the first days of Storybrooke, Regina and Graham (sob) capture Kurt Flynn, who orders his son Owen to run. In contemporary Storybrooke, Owen is all grown up and posing as Gregor Mendel. When Regina figures out his true identity, he tells Regina he's not leaving town without his father. Regina lies (probably, I mean, why not go with the odds) that his father isn't there. A wooden August tries to warn Emma about Tamara, but is interrupted by Tamara, who more or less kills him with her very special taser. Tamara and Gregor Mendel make out. Blue restores adult, wooden August into the human child, Pinocchio. The boy can't remember what the man wanted to tell Emma. In L'enchantement, Belle agrees to go with Rumpy, in order to save her homeland. Back to the future...no present, well, rather recent past in Storybrooke, Hook shoots Belle. The impact forces her over the town line, which causes her to forget her original self. In L'enchantement, the seer tells Rumpy a young boy will lead him to his son, and adds, "The boy will be your undoing." Rumpy shrugs that off, with a casual, "Then I'll just have to kill him." Cut to Gold and Henry walking through Manhattan with Emma and Neal in tow.
Now, on Once Upon A Time we open in Mr. Gold's shop. With him are Emma, Neal, Charming, Snow, and the guest of honor, Henry, who is blowing out the candles on his birthday cake. The big happy family cheers and applauds, then Mr. Gold tells the child to choose one object from the shop as a present. Henry chooses a wand, ignores Neal's warning that they're powerful, and asks his newest grandfather how it works. Gold takes the wand and tells Henry he'll show him. And show him he does. As he waves the wand above Henry's head, golden flecks of fairy dust flutter about. Gold flicks his wrist. A bolt of magic washes over Henry and turns him into a(n already cracked) porcelain doll.
The family reacts with the sort of horror you'd imagine. Charming asks, "How could you do that?" Gold says, "The prophecy. The seer said the boy would be my undoing, so I have no choice. I must be his." He raises his cane and smashes his porcelain grandson to bits. Of course this is a dream sequence, so we cut to Gold's bedroom where he wakes with a start. Title card.