Once Upon a Time
Queen Of Hearts

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 5 USERS: A+
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Mother Knows Best

The problem is, Belle loves Rumpy, and she knows she volunteered to accompany him to his estate. Hook wants Belle to reveal the magical weapon with the power to kill the Dark One. Belle interrupts and offers to talk to Rumpy, since he's "not a monster." Hook pretends that Maurice's life is his motivation, but regardless, Belle doesn't know what weapon would kill Rumpy, and even if she did, she wouldn't tell Hook. With that, Hook whacks Belle across her face and knocks her out. Gazing down at her unconscious form, he says, "So pretty, yet so useless." He raises his arm and slashes his hook down toward Belle but is stopped by Regina, who magics away his hook.

Regina declares Belle, "...Not useless. She's a valuable chess piece." Yes, this is all yucky, and I took OUAT to task for it in my initial draft, but guess what? Hook and Regina are villains, so when they do something bad, we don't have to think it's good, even though they're both so pretty. Speaking of which, how about Regina's gown, huh? I love how the crystal work spills down her otherwise open back. Don't look at her hair. Don't look at her hair. Don't look at her A Flock of Seagulls hair. This is a love letter, remember. Just look at her gown, and revel in how beautiful these two baddies are.

Regina schools Hook on his manners. She knows full well who he is and why he came there from Neverland, as well as all about the crocodile he wishes to skin. Regina is impressed (or feigns being impressed) with the fact that Hook is the first person to have made it all the way past her defenses and into the tower. While Belle can't help him kill Rumpy, Regina claims she can. Don't look at her hair. Stop that. Love is blind, I tell ya. Blind.

Down in her chambers, Regina pours Hook a drink and tells her about her plans to enact the Dark Curse. You don't need the exposition on that, by now. She explains that the new realm created by the curse will strip the Dark One of all his powers. It is there where Hook will be able to kill Rumpy, sans magical weapons.

Hook is intrigued and asks what he has to do. Regina just needs him to assassinate the one person she doesn't want following her to her new realm. Hook asks who it is. Regina: "My mother." A geyser springs up in the middle of the title card

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Storybrooke. Present. Gold's Shop. Regina exposits about the still-sleeping Charming. "He won't wake up until Mary Margaret comes back." Rumpy thinks her "until" is optimistic, considering Snow and Emma are up against Cora -- the Mother of All Evil. Since Charming isn't awake, they have no way of knowing if he was able to tell Snow about the magical squid ink. You guys should really read the recaps. It'll simple up your lives. Ever the coward leaning on his crutch, Rumpy insists they must take precautions, because it could well be Cora who will reach the portal first and enter Storybrooke. Regina agrees that neither of them wants that. Even 28 years haven't dimmed the horror that is Cora.

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Once Upon a Time

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