Ashley: I thought love would be different.

Mary: Me, too. *Chugs*

Meanwhile, David is buying some last minute Valentine Cards. Gold sees him.

Gold: Two Valentines. Must be complicated.

David: Oh, no, I just couldn't decide.

Audience: That's the problem, David.

David: Both cards are just totally us. See.

Audience: And by "us" you mean the puppy one is for Kathryn, because you're being a real dog to her, David. And the Prince and Princess one is for Mary. We get it. She's your true love and we're okay with that. What we're not okay with is your refusal or inability to choose.

Gold: I'm just going to smirk at you and spew platitudes about love as I buy my usual Valentine's Day purchases -- you know, rope and duct tape.

Sneezy: *Sneezes*

Next, we see Gold driving the "Game of Thorns" van. Moe French is bound and gagged in the back. Next to him lies a long stemmed Gaston...I mean rose. Happy Valentine's Day, you crazy kids.

Network: Commercials.

At the Woodland Cabin of David and Mary Margaret's Moral Failure, Gold stops the van, gets out, opens the back, and at gunpoint, orders Moe French to walk.

Moe French: Mich sny oo, 'mzzz mmmunm.

Recapper: The duct tape over his mouth is making it a little difficult for Moe to enunciate. Let me get that, for you. He says, "Which I do -- 'cause gun."

Moe French: Mmmaanmooo.

Recapper: You're welcome.

Back in the Enchanted Forest, Belle is on her way to town, when Regina's carriage rolls down the road. Regina opens the door and asks if her carriage splashed Belle. What -- with the blood of innocents? Belle says it didn't. Regina says she needs to stretch her legs and joins Belle on foot for a spell.

Regina: That's a pretty empty basket you have there.

Belle: I don't want to be slowed down.

Regina: Ah, are you running from a master or a lover? Oh, I saw that look. Both, you cheeky thing.

Belle: Um?

Regina: You love your employer, but you're leaving him.

Belle: I maybe love him. I don't know, there's something evil in him.

Regina: Sounds like a curse to me. Have you tried true love's kiss? Not that I would ever suggest a young woman should kiss a man who is holding her captive. What kind of message is that? Besides, if he loves you, he'd let you go. If not, the kiss won't work.