Chip Potts: And I am born. Hooray!
Recapper: Seriously, Show?
Chip Potts: You don't *sniff* like me.
Recapper: Dammit, Disney!
Belle: Um, can we get back to the bit about skinning children, because I don't even...
Rumpy: That one was a quip!
Recapper: Don't believe him, Belle!
Back in Storybrooke...
Gold: You can go. I know what was taken and how to get it back.
Emma: No can do. I'm the sheriff. You don't want to go all vigilante and end up behind bars.
Gold: Been there. Done that... Er... I mean... indeed not. Okay. Moe French is the culprit. You can read about him earlier in the recap.
Emma: I'll check him out.
Recapper: He's no Graham.
Back to the Enchanted Forest...
Belle: Why do you spin so much?
Rumpy: It helps me forget.
Belle: Forget what?
Rumpy: Must have worked. Gonnnnaaarrrragglgla.
Belle: Well, I'm standing on the kind of ladder one might use were one in a grand library, where one ought to be, if one is a fairy tale heroine, who in some versions, really loves books. But really, I'm just trying to open this heavy drapery, and disappoint millions of women who found Disney's Belle to be among the more satisfying princesses. Now come closer, so I can fall off of this ladder, into your arms, and the two of us can fall immediately in love.
Storybrooke, at the Sheriff's Office...
Emma: I recovered all your stuff, if not the culprit.
Rumpy: Job well half-done, then. You've recovered nothing. There's something missing.
Emma: I'll get it when I find him.
Rumpy: Not if I find him, first.
Rumpy: I'm having tea in the chipped cup, even though I have a full tea service. I bet you just can't guess what item is missing from that devilishly delightful Mr. Gold, over in Storybrooke.
Recapper: Here's how you type an eyeroll: @@
Belle: Rumpy, you say you wanted me here to work, but I think you're lonely. Any man would be.
Rumpy: I'm not a man.
Recapper: Look at the puppy dog eyes.
Belle: Hey, it's my turn to talk. What's with the children's clothing upstairs? Are you like a hoarder, or did you have a son?
Rumpy: There was a son. I lost him, as I did his mother.
Recapper: I just had a weird 'shipping moment, where I somehow want to find out Regina is Bael's mother, and that this whole Dark Curse is some divorce metaphor. I don't even know if that would be possible. I'm going to hope it's a fleeting desire.