Belle: You're ruining our touching scene. So anyhow, you were a man, once. That's cool, huh? Let's get to know each other.
Rumpy: Perhaps you just want to learn the monster's weaknesses. Nah neh neh nah neh nah neh.
Belle: You're not a monster and you're not as ugly as you think you are. I mean you're ugly, sure, but you're not cover-the-mirrors ugly.
Door: Knock knock knock knock knock.
Rumpy: *Opens door*
Gaston: I am Sir Gaston, and you...
Rumpy: *Snaps fingers*
Gaston: No one knows like Gaston, no one goes like Gaston, no one turns into a long stemmed rose, like Gaston.
Rose: *Falls to ground*
Rumpy: [returning to the dining room] So, would you believe that was an old woman selling flowers? Sure you will. You haven't cracked a book the whole time you've been for. This is for you, if you'll have it. Now tell me, why did you choose to leave your family and friends to come here, with me?
Belle: Heroism. Sacrifice. World travel. And frankly? Escape from the patriarchy, into this...beastiarchy. Um. Maybe I should read, more.
Rumpy: Is it everything you hoped?
Belle: Well, I'm not exactly getting to see the world, but I saved my village. Wait? It's a village now? Well, I guess it must be, or it wouldn't be in the script. Anyhow and honestly, I never really cared for Gaston. It was an arranged marriage. Love should be layered. A mystery to be uncovered. Gaston was superficial.
Rumpy: I just shake my head, here, because I am so in love with this pretty little thing.
Recapper: I'll just be grateful for the few moments of silence.
Belle: So anyhow, Rumpy, tell me about your son.
Rumpy: Let's make a deal. Go to town. Fetch me some straw. When you return, I'll share my tale.
Belle: You trust me to return?
Rumpy: Not so much, no.
In Storybrooke, Mary Margaret, Ashley and Ruby are bending their elbows at a Valentine's Day bash at the Rabbit Hole. Ruby tries to encourage Ashley to mingle with the single. Ashley declines. She whines to Mary about Sean always working.
Ashley: I thought love would be different.
Mary: Me, too. *Chugs*
Meanwhile, David is buying some last minute Valentine Cards. Gold sees him.
Gold: Two Valentines. Must be complicated.
David: Oh, no, I just couldn't decide.
Audience: That's the problem, David.
David: Both cards are just totally us. See.
Audience: And by "us" you mean the puppy one is for Kathryn, because you're being a real dog to her, David. And the Prince and Princess one is for Mary. We get it. She's your true love and we're okay with that. What we're not okay with is your refusal or inability to choose.