Previously on Once Upon A Time, Killian Jones becomes Captain Hook and sworn enemies with Rumpy. In a bid to keep Cora from Storybrooke and Henry, Emma destroys the enchanted wardrobe. Team Princess reluctantly joins forces with Captain Hook in hopes of locating a magical compass which could be their ticket back to Maine. Regina tells Emma she knows her gadabout history, and asks what she so enjoyed about Tallahassee. Henry eats the sleeping cursed apple tart that Regina means for Emma. Emma kisses him back to life. In New York, we meet a mysterious stranger, and badinaging birds totally become a thing.
Currently on Once Upon A Time, we open in the Enchanted Present. Hook leads Team Princess to a ginormous beanstalk that grows up through the clouds. Mulan: "It reminds me of death." Snow: "Encouraging." Recapper: "Isn't it time for Mulan to die, yet?" Speaking for me, Emma asks why they can't just pick a portal-opening bean and go home. Per Hook, all the beans are gone. "Whatever story you think you know, my dear, is almost certainly wrong." Emma spews out what she remembers of Jack and the Beanstalk. Hook says while it's a lovely tale, the truth is more gruesome. He says the giants grew the beans, and used them to plunder all the lands. Jack fought a terrible war and defeated all but one of the giants. As they died, the giants destroyed the beans. If they couldn't have the magic, then nobody could. Hook: "It's really very bad form." One of my childhood friends (yeah, this one) was like that. One time, we went to the store together. She got a big bag of pretzels. When she didn't want to finish them, I asked if I could have some. She said no, and lied that her mother didn't like her to do stuff like that, and then threw the bag away in a public trashcan. No, really. Anyhow, where was I? Bad form. Right.
Emma wonders why anyone hasn't climbed up the beanstalk and grown some more magic portal beans. Hook tells her the remaining giant is the strongest and most terrible of them all. They'll have to get past him to find the compass amidst all the treasure. Thanks to the enchanted wardrobe ashes, Cora has the means to open a portal, but can't find Storybrooke without the compass. Hook says once they get the compass, they'll snatch the ashes from Cora and be on their way. Mulan asks why they shouldn't just think Hook is using them to get the compass for Cora. Hook says since all he needs is a ride back, and Team Princess is far safer company than the Mother of All Evil, he'll swear allegiance to the side that gets him there first. Their first challenge is that the beanstalk is enchanted to repel intruders. Luckily, he has a counter-spell from Cora. As Snow frees the Captain's hands, she stares him down like the lioness she is. Hook gets too close and thanks her so flirtatiously that I'm surprised there isn't a twink sound effect.