Once Upon a Time
The Cricket Game

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: N/A | 2 USERS: A-
A Sticky Wicket

It's morning in Snow's Storybrooke hovel. She and Charming are all snuggly-wuggly in her bed alcove. What? That's a thing. It's not a bedroom. There's no door. Heck, our perfectly perfect princess doesn't even have the area curtained off. She could at least put up some beads or something, but no. As the couple coos that 28 years is too long to wait between -- well, you know (this indicates to me that their canoodling while he was "married" to Kathryn, never progressed to straight up adultery, which makes me happy, so don't shatter my illusions, thank you very much) Henry and Emma enter. I'd say they "bust" in, but they live there and Snow and Charming know that. As I mentioned in the recaplet, previous episodes indicate there might be a loft bedroom in this place, so this scene, while cute, annoys me a little. It's certainly not salacious or anything. It just feels forced, like -- let's have Emma and Henry catch Snow and Charming during an intimate moment.

Emma shoos Henry out to the kitchen, which is still in full view of the bed alcove, as she stammers to her parents about perhaps putting a tie on the door or sending her a text if they're going to indulge in a little afternoon delight. Emma follows Henry to the kitchen area; they're going to make tacos for their welcome home party (see recaplet for my rant on this). Charming laughs. "It's impressive that we can still provide her with a few traumatic childhood memories at this stage of the game." I'll give him that. But then, instead of getting out of bed, they pull the covers over their heads, traumatizing the rest of us into wondering if they continue their shenanigans with Emma and Henry fifteen feet away AND IN FULL VIEW.

Enchanted Past. Upon her valiant steed, Regina (wearing a headpiece so sparkly, so gaudy, that I'm surprised it doesn't immediately summon Disco into being in their world) watches from a hilltop as the valley below burns with the fires of war. Her guard reports that while King George Charles Widmore's whereabouts are unknown, Charming and Snow's army have defeated his forces. When the guard reports that without George's forces they can't defeat their enemy, Regina says, "Do not tell me what I can or cannot do." Somewhere, John Locke takes out a red pencil and, writing on the script, makes a note that reads: "Wordy. Consider, Don't tell me what I can't do." All the Lost fans nod, in agreement. Regina orders her guard to keep Snow separate from Charming, until she catches up to the fairest in the land.

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Once Upon a Time




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