Once Upon a Time
The Crocodile

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 14 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hook, Line and Sinker

Storybrooke. We open in Gold's shop, where Rumpy presents Belle with a serious diamond necklace. As he places it around her neck, she asks what the occasion is. Rumpy says they are the occasion. They haven't gotten out much since Storybrooke awoke, and he wants them to see the town, together. Belle wraps her arms around him, kisses him and thanks him. Rumpy cracks that she shouldn't get her hopes up. Storybrooke nightlife is pretty limited. You think? It seems like the only places in town are Granny's and The Rabbit Hole -- that club Ruby, Mary and Ashley were at last Valentine's Day. Hey, what do you want? It's Maine. There are more trees there than people. Anyone who's ever driven I-95 to Canada will back me up here.

The tender mood is broken when Grumpy storms into the shop, and this is my worst nightmare. Okay, that's a ridiculous exaggeration (I'd never tell you all my worst nightmare), but I do dread having Grumpy and Rumpy in the same scene. It took me forever to add Rumpy to my spell check (because I was afraid I might not notice if I called Grumpy Rumpy by mistake), and now I wish I hadn't. I only call Robert Carlyle's character Rumpy, because Rumpelstiltskin is too long and easy to misspell, as the show itself can testify (witness his Dark One dagger, upon which Rumplestiltskin is engraved). A lot of people call him Rumple, but I don't like to because it reminds me of the misspelling, yet Rumpel doesn't feel right, because it overlooks the show's misspelling. It's a conundrum, is what. Can we flashback a year or so, and let me again? No. Oh, right. We're out of fairy dust. Speaking of which...

Grumpy barges in and demands that Rumpy return his axe. Rumpy pours on the fake charm and says, "I'm sorry, but we're closed." When Grumpy protests, Rumpy says they're "still closed." Grumpy: "Just because you possess something don't (sic) mean it's yours. Nothing in this shop belongs to you." Grumpy then turns toward Belle whom, you'll recall, he met long ago and far away. "And you. How can you be with such a monster? Or maybe you're just another possession, too." Rumpy freaks, pushes Grumpy across the shop and tells him he can have his axe -- buried in his chest. Belle cries out for him to stop, but instead, Rumpy throttles Grumpy. As our beloved Dwarf chokes, Belle says, "This isn't you, anymore." Rumpy turns to her. His skin is now flecked with Gold, his voice a fey chirrup. "Oh, it's me, dearie. Always has been. Always will be." Belle gasps and...

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Once Upon a Time

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