Once Upon a Time
The Crocodile

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 14 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hook, Line and Sinker

Storybrooke. Morning. Rumpy enters the house and is surprised to find Belle sitting on the couch, still in her nightgown. When she asks what he's been doing, he changes the subject, saying he's going to make her breakfast. She tells him she saw him in the basement -- practicing magic. He assures her he was just doing a couple of spells, but nothing worth worrying about. Belle asks him to be honest with her and explain why he brought magic to Storybrooke. He reminds her that magic is power, but when she asks why he needs it, he won't tell her. Belle: "You don't need power, Rumple. You need courage -- to let me in." Yes, I know I just went on about not using Rumple or Rumpel, but when it's spoken on screen, it's hard to avoid. Are you sure I can't flash back in time and change this? Fairy dust shortage. Right.

Enchanted Past. A neighbor woman comes to the door and tells Rumpy that he needs to get to the docks. The pirates have taken Milah. Well, she just calls them "the men who came into port," but when I get to use pirates, I bloody well use pirates. Anyhow, the pirates are setting sail, so he must hurry.

Down at the docks, Rumpy finds Jones' ship. Because of his limp, he stumbles as he boards and falls flat on the deck. Do you think the army hobbled him for being a deserter? Jones introduces himself and asks Rumpy why he's on his ship.

Rumpy: You've got my wife.

Jones: Well, I've had many a man's wife.

Recapper: *cackles*

Rumpy: We have a son, and he needs his mother.

Jones: Well see, I have a ship full of men who need...companionship.

Recapper: Ew.

Rumpy begs some more for Milah's return. Jones, knowing full well who and what he's dealing with, challenges Rumpy to a duel. Dropping a sword at Rumpy's feet, then pointing his own blade at the sad sack, Jones says, "Never been in a duel before, I take it. Well, it's quite simple, really. Pointy end goes in the other guy." I find Jones delightful -- but it's difficult to watch this scene because I'm so busy cringing for Rumpy. When Rumpy fails to pick up the sword and engage, Jones tells him, "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets." And in a coming back story, we'll learn that Jones, who will become Hook, once wrote fortune cookie fortunes for a living. And hey, what's the deal with fortune cookies, these days? Nobody writes fortunes any more. They're like corny advice cookies. "A smile brightens the day of all who see and wear it." Bah. No wonder Jones chose piracy. Anyhow, Rumpy begs a little more. "Please sir, what am I going to tell my boy?" Jones: "Try the truth. His father's a coward." Commercial.

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Once Upon a Time

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