Once Upon a Time
The Crocodile

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B+ | 14 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Hook, Line and Sinker

(Cut to a shot of a giant Chanel No.5 parfum bottle hovering over the world. If that thing gets hit by a meteor, I will never, ever stop sneezing. It's night, but the landscape is dotted with city lights, and there's a bright glow on the horizon.)

PITT VOICE OVER: Inevitable.

RECAPPER'S HUSBAND: Wow. Just wow. I hope he got a lot of money for doing that to himself. But he can't even need any more money, can he?

RECAPPER: Well, he does have a lot of kids. Maybe Angie wants another baby?

RECAPPER'S HUSBAND: I hope Clooney gives him hell for that. Let's watch it again!

RECAPPER: Somewhere, Jennifer Aniston is smiling, and she doesn't even know why.

So, yeah, that happened. Where was I? Oh, right. We return to the Storybrooke mines. Grumpy supervises as his fellow dwarfs and Charming hack away at the rock. The dwarfs are all dressed in long sleeved work shirts, but Charming is only wearing a grey tank style undershirt. I'm grateful for both wardrobe choices. And hey, since Thor is still on my mind, I'll confess it took me a few scenes to realize that Josh Dallas plays Fandral (one of the three warriors who fight alongside Sif and Thor). He's much more appealing on Once Upon A Time. Charming turns and winks at Henry, who is probably trying to come to terms with having a grandpa so buff. Red arrives with a basket full of giant muffins. She gives one to Henry and they exposit about the lack of fairy dust and their hopes of retrieving Emma and Snow. Red leaves without giving muffins to any of the guys actually working, and promises to be back at lunch, at which time I suppose she'll give Henry a fresh Maine lobster, dripping with butter, and tell the dwarfs to whistle for meal.

There's an overly obvious close up shot of Charming wiping the mine dust off his hands, and if that wasn't anvilicious enough for you, he then mutters, "Ugh. I hate mine dust." Turning back to the workers, he calls out, "Leroy, if you find anything, I'll be at the Sheriff's station." He's stepping in, until Emma gets back. See. He's a good daddy and a responsible citizen.

Rumpy's House. Rumpy goes upstairs and knocks on Belle's door, which helps me forget the TMI implication of the earlier shot of Belle in bed. When she doesn't answer, he opens the door. The room is empty, but one of the windows is wide open. We cut to...

Game of Thorns. Rumpy arrives at Mo French's wonderfully named flower shop, bearing a hand-drawn missing poster, featuring a color sketch of Belle. He asks the man whom he nearly beat to death if he's heard from his daughter. Mo is less than eager to share information with Rumpy, but it doesn't matter, since he hasn't seen Belle either. Rumpy says that Belle made a flyer in hopes of finding Mo. Mo: "Let me guess. You took care of it by throwing it in the trash." Rumpy doesn't expect Mo's help; he just wants to know Belle is safe. Mo: "And now, thanks to you, neither one of us knows where she is. You're a monster, Rumplestiltskin (sic)." We flash back to...

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Once Upon a Time

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