Once Upon a Time
The Evil Queen

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
The Drama Queen

Previously, on Once Upon A Time, Hook hooks Gold. With her anti-magic taser, Tamara kills wooden August before he can warn Emma. Snow and Charming show Emma the cloaked bean field. Upon realizing her parents want to return to the Enchanted Forest, Emma is unsettled. Regina finds the field. Tamara brings Hook back to Storybrooke.

Now, on Once Upon A Time, it's nighttime in Storybrooke. Tamara whips the hood off of a still bound Hook's head. She and Greg... Owen... Growen...Groan now have Hook up in the clock tower. Wait, they what? How do you get a bound pirate up in the clock tower, which is right in the town center, without someone noticing it? And to what end? The Contrivance Fairy flies into my office, makes a rather bumpy landing on my desk, and cautions me to have patience. Patience my patootie. I have a fly swatter, and I'm not afraid to use it. The Contrivance Fairy says, "Some people are so touchy," and flies off.

Thinking the duo of dull wants to torture him, Hook eggs on Tamara and Groan. He's surprised to learn that instead, they want to offer him a job. Assuming he's succeeded in killing Gold, Hook announces his bucket list is already complete. Tamara hands him his own telescope and tells the pirate to take a gander at the street below. What fortuitous timing! Hook looks, exactly when Laceybelle and Gold are exiting the Rabbit Hole. The Contrivance Fairy zips back into my office, sits on my head, and says, "Take that!" That's it. I'm getting the fly swatter and maybe some fly paper, too.

Laceybelle is still in the same dress she might as well have swiped from the back of Ruby's closet, so at most, mere hours have passed between "Lacey" and "The Evil Queen." More on that later. Groan rubs it in Hook's face that Gold beat him. Tamara offers that she and Groan know how to kill magical creatures. Groan says the price for their expertise is this: Hook must find Groan's father. We all know the real price, Killian. You have to suffer these fools up close and in person. Groan fills Hook in on his backstory, including the fact that Regina is responsible for Kurt's disappearance, waves Hook's hook in his face, and asks if they have a deal. Wait a damned second, Show. Do you mean to tell me that once they tied him up, neither Emma, Neal, Gold nor Henry -- not one person thought to take Hook's hook? Oh bah. Title card.

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Once Upon a Time

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