Once Upon a Time

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 3 USERS: A
You Don't Know Jack

Cut to the docks. I think Hook is hoping to take Sneezy's place among the dwarfs, and judging by the innuendo-laden ooze he's spreading in Snow's direction, he's bucking for the name Sleazy. He leads Grumpy, Snow and Charming aboard his still cloaked ship, but warns that Cora won't be there. Charming still wants a look to see if they can find anything that will lead them to the Mother of All Evil. Once aboard, Grumpy asks if the ship could sail back to their land. Hook says that although it's made from enchanted wood, the ship needs a portal to travel between lands. He then leads them to some cargo and says while he doesn't know Cora's plans, her weapon of choice is right there. When they pull off the tarp, they find the currently not so giant Giant asleep in a cage. We'll learn his name is Anton and his nickname is Tiny, but it's quite likely I'll slip and call him either Hurley or Hugo, so I'll apologize in advance. It isn't really even in advance because when I started typing that last sentence, I wrote, "We'll learn his name is Hurley..." See what I mean? We flash back to...

CGIsland. With the bell ringing, Anton rushes to the dining room, where his brothers are waiting for him. The eldest is Olaf the Troll god my ass (or Jerry, if you're boring). Olaf has a name here -- Arlo, but I'm calling him Olaf, because he and his other jerk-faced brothers keep calling Anton Tiny and it's hurting his feelings. I started out annoyed because as far as I'd noticed, not one of these giants is named Andre. I was feeling all, "Oh sure, we can name Henry's father after Jack Kerouac's male partner in a Devil's three-way, but we can't name a giant Andre?" Then I watched the rest of the episode. So, dear reader, you can read my complaint and mea culpa, in the very same paragraph. Sorry, Show.

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Once Upon a Time




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