Once Upon a Time

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: A | 3 USERS: A
You Don't Know Jack

Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. Snow and David talk about how Anton must have confused David for James. David tells Grumpy to get his head looked at (he was hurt during the giant altercation) and then gather the dwarfs. They need to keep an eye out for the giant. We flash back to...

L'enchantement. Pub. Talk about keeping an eye out. Anton is outside the pub. From inside, all you can see is his giant eye. Lost often opened on a character's eye. Frequently it was Jack's, but not always. I wonder if they ever opened on Hurley's eye. Anyhow, after peeking in on all the fun, Anton mopes away because he's too big to even enter the pub. James, who is with his lady friend, calls out to Anton and introduces himself. They'd be happy to show him around, but his size is problematic. Anton pouts that back home he's too small, and here he's too large. The woman smiles broadly and offers him a magic mushroom from a far off land. She once slayed a Jabberwock and was given it by a wise woman (read: witch; read: Cora) in lieu of payment. Why does my spellcheck not recognize slayed? It's a word. I've spelled it correctly. Plus, I am pretty sure I still type about Buffy on a daily basis. This has me all discombobulated. Let's start a fresh paragraph.

The woman offers Anton a magic mushroom, but it looks more like a white sponge with a blue scrubby side. Don't eat it, Anton. It doesn't look like a mushroom. It could be slithy toves, for all we know. He doesn't listen. He's too busy looking down the woman's shirt. Hey, he can't help it. It's a side-effect of his height. He's also listening to her promise that the mushroom will temporarily change his size. Somewhere in there, the woman introduces herself as Jacqueline, then adds: "But... most people call me 'Jack'." Oh no! If she hurts Hurley, I will kill her. I've done it before. Okay, I've recapped her death before. Well not Jack's, but Sage (also played by Cassidy Freeman) and I'll do it again. Commercial. Oh, now there's an ad for Jack the Giant Slayer. I wonder if the script writer's spellcheck accepts "slayed." There's a time and place for "slew" but I was quoting Jack, so it's not like I had any choice, Mr. Spellcheck.

Logan Airport. Henry gets chatty with Mr. Gold again, as they're waiting to be screened. This grandpa isn't nearly as indulgent as Charming and just wants the boy to shut up and leave him alone. When Henry says, "It must be hard not using magic -- being like everyone else," it gets to Gold. When Emma tells Gold he has to take off his shoes, his sneer gives catharsis to an entire nation. "How terribly uncivilized." He panics when the TSA Agents tells him to put his scarf and cane in the basket. Turning to Emma, Gold says, "I can't." When Emma tells him he has to, the passenger behind them grows impatient with the delay. "It ain't rocket science, buddy. Ever been on a plane, before?" Gold shakes his cane at the man. "Have you ever been impaled on a cane, before?" It's good for Gold's sake that the TSA agents are not worried about threats of violence, but it makes me less than eager to fly again. Emma grabs Gold, then turns to the other man. "My father's a little nervous. We're headed to a family reunion. Sorry." Gold winces at that. "Your father?" Emma hushes him and tells him to take off his shawl. Gold is afraid if he lets go of the enchanted rag he'll forget who he is. Emma says, "I'm not going to let that happen," and Gold takes her at her word because it's in the script. And what do you know? While he appears a little out of it and loses his balance, Emma helps him through. She puts the shawl back over his shoulders and hands him his cane. Breathing a sigh of relief, Gold nods to let her know he's okay. Meanwhile, Henry takes off for the Cinnabon stand (which could be problematic, as there is no Cinnabon at Logan). We cut back to...

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Once Upon a Time




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP