Once Upon a Time
Welcome To Storybrooke

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | 51 USERS: D+
YOU GRADE IT
(Re)Born In The U.S.A.
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Once Upon A Time, long ago and far way, in 1983, a father named Kurt Flynn (John Pyper-Ferguson) and his son, Owen (Benjamin Stockham), were camping in the woods of coastal Maine. Sitting by their fire, Kurt teaches Owen how to weave gimp (not that, you pervs -- this). Showing his work to his father, wee Owen notes he chose the colors green and red as an homage to Luke and Darth's light sabers, so immediately, we realize Owen is going to grow up to be the man we know and yawn at -- Gregor Mendel. That's not a criticism, by the way. I don't watch this show for shockers, but for the journey. My complaint is that I'm overflowing with Regina and Gold's journeys. I want to see more emotional moments (good and bad) between Emma and her family (including Neal).

Kurt teases Owen about his gimp craftsmanship, and then pulls an old brown leather woven lanyard out of his pocket. "Your grandpa taught me how to make these when I was your age." Owen smiles when his father gives him the lanyard. "You weren't very good at this, when you were my age, were you?" Kurt laughs and says it's time to start dinner, but when he rises, a wild storm whips up out of nowhere (nowhere in this world, anyhow). Kurt tells Owen to put the fire out. I'm glad they're being conscientious, but this is exactly why I don't camp -- I'd be counting on Mother Nature to extinguish the fire while I took shelter in my car. Of course Kurt's car is a bright orange SUV, so maybe he doesn't want to die in it. No, he definitely doesn't, given that they take shelter in their tent.

I realize tents are waterproof, or at least waterproof-y, but this is one hell of a storm, so I'm more bothered than I should be about these two hunkering down in a tent when they have a nice watertight SUV ten feet away from them. They peek outside to see green and purple smoke enveloping the forest. As it overwhelms their tent, Kurt pulls Owen back inside. The next morning, the guys emerge to survey the damage. There are a few downed branches here and there, but a big tree has crashed on top of their SUV. The Contrivance Fairy says, "Now do you understand why they sought shelter in their tent?" I do, CF. I do indeed. But why didn't any branches land on their tent? The Contrivance Fairy says, "Do you take me for a murderer?" Kurt pulls out his map and compass, intending to hike out to the highway, but when they get to the ridge they see an entire town, where yesterday there was nothing but wilderness.

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Once Upon a Time

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