Once Upon a Time
Welcome To Storybrooke

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 53 USERS: C-
YOU GRADE IT
(Re)Born In The U.S.A.

The flirtation is interrupted by Owen, who is totally socially awkward. "Hey, you like apple pancakes, too?" Regina turns and asks the other customers, "Whose child is this?" Marco says he's not his. "I was never so lucky." I'm not sure the writers should have gone to that well, since Geppetto hasn't looked for Pinocchio since early in the season.

Kurt Flynn introduces himself and apologizes for the awkward boy, then tells Regina they're looking for a hotel room. Taken aback, Regina excuses herself and calls Graham aside to ask him about the Flynns. He explains how the two were camping and says, "I was just as surprised as you." Regina hisses, "I don't like surprises, Sheriff. I find them threatening. And do you know what happens when I feel threatened?" Aladdin and Jasmine should be there, singing, don't you think? Instead, Regina adds the unnecessary explanation: "Bad things." We flash forward to the...

Storybrooke Cemetery. Present. Inside the Mills Mausoleum, Thoroughly Modern Mayor rubs a gloved hand over the plaque on her mother's bier. "Cora Mills. Beloved Mother." I guess there wasn't room to add, "Of All Evil." Spilling her trademark crocodile tears, Regina lays a rose atop the casket and wallows in her own grief because wallowing in grief is nothing if not Regina's gift. She's interrupted by Gold, which on one hand is good because Regina loves an audience. On the other hand, it's also good because Regina has someone at whom she can lash out.

Gold lays a second Rose on the casket and blathers about paying his respects and how, despite their differences, Cora will always hold a place in his heart. Regina's not buying. "You killed her to save her own life." Gold says desperate times call for desperate measures. Regina: "Like getting Mary Margaret to trick me into killing my own mother. You may be able to hide behind your dagger, but she can't. She is going to die for what she did." Gold reminds Regina that would cost her Henry's love, and counsels her to abandon her quest for vengeance since it will never make her happy. Regina insists it will, so Gold reminds her, "You had a whole curse worth of vengeance. And what did it get you? A gaping hole in your heart." Regina: "That was your curse." Gold: "Which you cast. Still haven't learned your lesson, have you?" Regina: "What lesson?" Gold: "The same one your mother learned, a long time ago: You can't have everything. She wanted power. Ripped out her own heart to get it. You want vengeance. Henry's the price you'll pay. Time to cut your losses." Regina says, "Never. I will have my son, and I will have my vengeance. I will find a way to find everything."

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Once Upon a Time

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