Enchanted Forest: Princess Abigail arrives at King George Charles Widmore's Kingdom. Where the heck is this wedding supposed to take place, anyhow? I thought the unhappy couple are on their way to wed in Midas's kingdom, the first time Snow and Charming meet. How many times have they been back and forth since then? There's no time for that. Charming has taken off. George covers with Abigail, but sends his men off to find Charming and drag him back.
Abigail has someone on the inside at George's palace, so already knows he is in love with Snow White. She and her men set off in search of Charming, too. Kathryn is no woman scorned. She's another child being forced into a loveless marriage by a King. She finds Charming and takes him to meet her true love. Frederick is a knight who was accidentally turned to gold, when he saved King Midas from an attack. That's the story, anyhow. The parents in fairy tales so often profoundly suck, that I wouldn't be surprised to someday learn Midas meant to gild Frederick.
Abigail tells Charming there is a legendary lake. Its waters are magical. She thinks it might save Frederick. Since Charming believes Snow White no longer loves him, he tells Abigail he will go get the water for her, so at least one of them will get a happy ending. She warns him that it is too dangerous. No man has ever been able to return with water from the lake. The magical creature who guards it has killed everyone. Charming is not afraid. If he succeeds in his mission, Kathryn will get what she wants -- Frederick. If he fails, he will get what he wants -- release from this unhappy life.
The creature turns out to be a beautiful, blonde siren. She tries to seduce Charming, but he digs brunettes, so it's a no go. So then...she takes on Snow White's form. Charming is tempted. They kiss, but he refuses to love an illusion. By then, though, he's in the Siren's clutches. She tries to drown him. Charming breaks free and begins to swim for the surface, when he's ensnared by enchanted weeds. The siren moves in on him again.
Charming finds a dagger, lying near the remains of one of the other men who have fallen prey to the Siren's song (although this one doesn't sing, which is just too darned bad). He stabs the Siren, while she's still wearing Snow White's face. As she dies, she reverts to her original form, thank goodness. Charming cuts his way free, swims to shore, gets the magical water and returns to Kathryn and her Golden Boy. She pours the water over Frederick's head. He returns to life. Hurrah! Prince Charming saves the day.
Charming rides off in search of Snow White. When he meets up with Red Riding Hood, she tells him she hasn't Snow since she left to tell Charming she loves him. Charming realizes George must have forced Snow to deny their love, but there's little time to plan because George's are charging at them, now. Charming helps Red up on his horse. Ride Charming! Ride like the wind.
Storybrooke: Prince Charming so very much does not save the day in Storybrooke. Kathryn informs David she wants to go to law school in Boston. David tells Mary, who points out that this might be a great time to come clean with Kathryn -- about everything. David agrees to do so, and while he does manage to tell Kathryn that he doesn't want to go to Boston with her, instead of telling her he's in love with Mary, he blathers about connections and fresh starts.
Upset, Kathryn goes to Regina. Regina wastes no time in showing her surveillance photos of David kissing Mary and gazing ever so lovingly at her. Kathryn is initially angry with Regina for hiding the truth from her. Regina lies that she thought Kathryn and David were working things out; she was trying to ensure they did so.
Kathryn goes to the school, bumps into a man (Frederick, in the Enchanted Forest), but barely pays him any mind. She confronts Mary, right in the crowded hallway. When Mary learns that David didn't come clean about their love, and only told Kathryn she could have a fresh start, she is devastated. Kathryn's laugh is bitter when she points out that David has lied to them both.
People in the town whisper about Mary and shun her. Granny tells her off, right in the street. Mary finds David washing her car. He's washing it because someone has spray-painted TRAMP on the windows -- in bright red. Mary is hurt and angry that David didn't tell Kathryn the truth, and that he let Mary think he did. He says he didn't want anyone to get hurt. Mary points out that now, everyone is hurt.
Meanwhile, the MYSTERIOUS STRANGER puts the moves on Emma. He reminds her she promised to have a drink with him. Emma says she doesn't drink with men, when she doesn't even know their names. The STRANGER says his name is August W. Booth. I start thinking about John Wilkes Booth, until the stranger says the W is for Wayne. Then I start thinking about John Wayne Gacy. Run, Emma. Run!
Emma meets up with August at the appointed time, but they're not drinking at Granny's. He talks her into hopping on his bike and takes her out into the woods. I told you to run, girl! The watering hole he talked about really is a watering hole -- a wishing well. He blathers on about the magical properties of the well water, and says it is rumored that if you drink from the well, something will be returned to you -- something you thought lost. Emma wonders where he comes up with this stuff. August then points out the plaque on the side of the well. I guess we're supposed to laugh, so... lol.
Later, back in town, August hides as he watches Emma return to her car. She finds the red strong box underneath it, and Henry's book is inside. Earlier, and unbeknownst to Emma, August copied the book. So is he good, bad, neutral? What do you think? Anyhow, Emma returns to the book to Henry, saving him from the handheld video game, Regina gave him earlier.
When Emma returns home, she finds Mary Margaret on her bed -- crying. Emma asks if she wants to talk. Mary says, "Nope," so Emma asks if she wants to be alone. Mary says, "Nope." Emma lies down next to her. Poor Mary Margaret.
I haven't even had a chance to talk about Kathryn's realization that David never loved her, and the letter of forgiveness she writes to David and Mary -- the letter that Regina steals, before David can find it. There's also the matter of Kathryn's disappearance. I'll hit all that in the full recap. In the meantime, please grade the episode at the top of the page and then join us in the forum, but don't drink the water.
Enchanted Forest: Princess Abigail arrives in King "Charles Widmore" George's kingdom. George welcomes her and then grabs one of his men and hisses at him to find Prince Charming. I wish I knew Charming's real name. Maybe we'll learn it in an episode where there's some sort of breakthrough in Mary Margaret and David's Storybrooke relationship woes. Knowing a person's name gives one power, after all. Anyhow, we cut to Charming fleeing on horseback. It's not long before he is apprehended.
Storybrooke: Over supper, Kathryn tells David she has been accepted at a Boston law school. He didn't even know she applied.
Audience: Probably because you were too busy committing ADULTERY, David, you SLEAZE.
Recapper: It's not truly adultery, but point taken. I hate seeing Kathryn as a perpetual dupe. I'm tired of watching the degradation of David's character. That said, I'm pretending that there has been nothing more tawdry going on than a few stolen kisses and a secret picnic lunch.
Audience: Oh, c'mon. Mary Margaret had a one night stand with Dr. Whale. You think she's not doing it with her own true love?
Recapper: Not until they remember they're married, or at least until David breaks things off with Kathryn and is open about the fact that he loves Mary Margaret. Snow White is no one's dirty little secret. You hear me, Show?
Dr. Whale: Well, she's my dirty little secret.
Recapper: La la la. I cannot hear you. La la la.
Kathryn: David, do you hear voices?
David: Maybe it's just crickets.
Audience: The crickets of your GUILTY CONSCIENCE you CHEATER.
Kathryn: Hmm. Oh well. Anyhow, David, I think we need a fresh start. Let's make new memories instead of trying to recapture the old.
Enchanted Forest: Abigail tells Charming she has ears in Charles Widmore's court, which, if taken literally, is incredibly gross. [I'm pretty sure that's one of our lines. --Imaginary Joss Whedon & Crew] Abigail knows Charming is in love with Snow White and has no intention of marrying her. He explains he will not marry someone he doesn't love. Abigail finds it "charming" that he is prepared to lay down his life rather than live a lie and explains that she came to help him escape because she doesn't want to marry him, either. I'm so glad Abigail has turned out to be likable. I really couldn't stand her when she was first introduced.