It's an awkward and uncomfortable reunion on the Beach when Kate and Sayid bring Jack back to camp. Probably because Jack insisted that they bring Juliet with them. He has anointed her as his bestest and most trusted friend, and no one can make her feel bad about torturing them or plotting their demise or generally being an active member of the Others. That doesn't mean they have to like her though! Except Hurley. He has to. It's in his contract or something. Juliet doesn't make it easy, though, what with confessing to having masterminded the attacks on Claire, creating a serum that is causing a deathlike reaction in Claire, and admitting that there is a "problem" on the Island that kills pregnant women. Oh yes, Juliet is popular at Camp Lostaway. But that all changes when she saves Claire's life.
While Sayid and Sawyer don't trust Juliet even a little, you, as the lucky viewer of magic flashbacks, know that she has had a rough time since she got on the Island. Not only did she have to sleep with Goodwin (ugh!) and hang around with Creepy Ethan (double ugh!), but she was on the receiving end of many of Ben's fun head games! He told her she would be on the Island for six months but kept her for over three years. He said her sister was dead and then showed her a video of her sister alive and well and playing with her very own little boy! Super Evil!
But Sayid and Sawyer may be on to something, because as soon as we start to feel bad for Juliet, we find out that she wasn't so much left behind as planted. And that illness that Claire has? Caused by remote control implant. Her saving of Claire? Totally planned. Geez. Does anyone know if mindfuck has a hyphen?
It's a beautiful day on Craphole Island. The sun is filtering through the clouds and making Kate, Jack, Sayid, and Juliet's walk back to the beach much more pleasant than if the monsoon season that started last episode had lasted. Kate and Juliet are still covered in mud from their wrestling competition. Apparently they opted not to take advantage of the showers in the Barracks. But hey, why start now? Sayid still has the bandage on his arm from the gunshot. Even without antibiotics he looks like he has fully recovered from the bullet and subsequent bullet removal. Sayid: Too Badass for 'Biotics. Wouldn't that look great on a campaign button? After they ford a stream, Sayid announces that it's getting late and that they should make camp. Jack proclaims that he is going to get firewood and Kate says she's going with him. As they walk off, Jack shoots Juliet a look that clearly says, "Don't let the Iraqi torturer I'm leaving you alone with intimidate you." Juliet just looks at him blankly, because she made a quick stop at the Island Spa, had her entire head Botoxed, and now can do nothing but smirk. I love it! In the woods, Kate and Jack smash firewood into impending splinters. Kate asks Jack if wants to talk about it. He has no idea what she's on about. She drops the wood, walks over, and kicks him in the shins. "The week? That you spent with the Others? You want to talk about that?" Jack says that after they left, he made a deal with Ben that he would take care of him, and he would let him off the Island. So he kept his head down, did what was asked of him, and didn't ask any questions. But Jack, where does flag football fit into that equation? Kate can't believe that was it, but Jack just goes back to collecting wood.
Juliet is cleaning off some of the mud while Sayid stares at her. She finally gets uncomfortable enough to stop and tell Sayid, "Okay, let's have it." Sayid has some questions: "I want to know what you people are doing on this Island. Why you are terrorizing us. Making lists, kidnapping children. I want to know everything. But the first thing I want to know is. Who are you?" Thank god! Someone is finally asking questions. And we will finally get some answers! Hallelujah! Juliet stares at him, silently trying to determine how long her character will last on the show if she actually gives up an answer. She stares at him so long that the camera gets bored and cuts to a flashback.
Juliet pulls up to a guard station at a private airport. She rolls down the window and tells the guard that she is Juliet Burke with Mittelos Bioscience. The guard says he will let them know she's there. Juliet's sister, Rachel, is in the car with her. They are listening to "Downtown" by Pet Clark and giggling together. Rachel is surprisingly not falling-down drunk (er, maybe that's just the character she played on Deadwood); she points out the security cameras taping them and says that they are taking the corporate secrecy thing a little too seriously. Juliet doesn't notice the giant Anvil of Foreshadowing as it crashes on the hood of her car. She giggles that she is never going to fit in with these people. Ha ha! Creepy Ethan knocks on the window of the car and tells her that if she pops the trunk, he'll get her bags. Richard Alpert shows up, and Juliet and Rachel get out of the car. Richard thanks Rachel for letting them borrow her sister for a few months. Rachel asks that they just get her back in one piece. Richard says that for security reasons, he has to escort Juliet the rest of the way in, and that whenever she's ready he'll be waiting. Juliet turns to her sister to say goodbye and express some serious doubts about her decision. Her sister swears that it's better this way. That she won't get sick again, the cancer is gone and she's a hundred percent preggers. I freakin' hate that word. But alas, I am just the scribe. Juliet promises she will be back before the baby comes. Which is Hi-lar-i-ous! They hug, and Juliet makes her way through the giant gate, which slowly closes behind her.
Sayid is still staring at her as she comes out of her flashback. Sayid asks again, "Who are you?" Juliet says, "If I told you who I was. If I told you everything I know. You would kill me." Sayid bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard he has to curl up in a ball! He has tears streaming down his face. After five minutes he comes out of it. Straightens himself up, looks at Juliet, and says, "What do you think I will do if you don't?" Just then Jack swoops into save Juliet and tells Sayid to leave her alone. Sayid points out that sooner or later she will answer his questions. Jack glares at him and says, "She will answer your questions when she's ready. And you will wait until she is. She's under my protection." Yes, he seriously said that. Sayid shoots him an eyebrow of disbelief. He stares at Jack. Then he bursts out laughing again. This giggle fit lasts for a solid ten minutes. He is pounding the ground and has tears streaming down his face. "Stop! Stop! You guys are killing me with this!" He is still laughing to himself as we cut to commercial. Oh, Jack, sometimes you really put the "Jack" in "jackass." Good grief.