Luke and Nathan are back in the car and sandwiched between the Things. Thing says, "Cool, they scored the brew!" Thing 3 wants to know why they didn't get the porn. Luke interjects, "Hey, you've had your fun, now give us back our clothes." Thing 1 says that he's "done" with these "clowns." Now there's the pot calling the kettle freaking black there. He wants to go somewhere and get wasted. Thing 3 bitches, "Without porn?" Oh, good grief, these kids are moronic; Nathan wasn't joking about Pickerington Hicks. Anyway. They all hear the cop car approaching. So, Thing puts the car into gear and makes tracks. They barely get out of the parking lot before the unit car pulls in with its sirens blazing.
They park the car just off the main road. The cop car drives right past. The Things hoot and holler. Luke snits, "Yeah! Right! All right! Yahoo! Yeah, enough's enough. Give us our clothes." Thing holds up the gun. "Didn't they teach you how to say please in the suburbs?" Nathan grabs it: "He said, give us our clothes, you hick." The Things laugh as Nathan inspects the gun. "Great," he says, "it's a starter pistol. I knew this thing was a fake." Thing 3 says, "Yeah, but our fists are real." Thing says, "Look, we'll give you guys your clothes back, we'll even give one of you a ride home." Luke: "What do you mean by one of us?"
They've given the boys their basketball shorts back. But they're still half-naked. Thing gives them the instructions -- they'll watch Nathan and Luke beat the crap out of one another, and they'll give a ride home to the one left standing. The game is called Gladiator. "The loser, well, he loses." Now, there's eloquence for you. Thing 3 takes a swig of beer and barks, "Let the games begin!" Nathan and Luke give each other a look. Surprisingly, Thing catches this and says, "The game isn't called two punks staring at each other, it's called Gladiator." Luke steps forward and says, "You guys can screw yourselves, because there's no way the two of us are going to fight." And right on cue, Nathan nails Luke in the face. Luke does his patented race-at-Nathan-and-push-him-to-the-ground move, and we're off to the races. Like the two of them needed an excuse to beat the crap out of each other.