I guess we're in Pickerington, because there are all kinds of people waving "Go Pirates" signs and screaming, "Go Pirates go!" Well, Tweedle Dum has re-surfaced. He's calling the game into his wee tape recorder, and he's got a ravenshoops.com t-shirt on. Goodness, if I wasn't born to recap this show already -- but his last name is McFadden. His name is Malcolm McFadden. My last name is McFadden. My first name isn't Malcolm, but that's one hell of a shout-out, wouldn't you say? Anyway. Haley sits beside him, flipping through a magazine. Considering she just spent a whack of time on a bus to get there, you'd think she'd have brought something heftier along for the ride. Blah in Pickerington, where the Pirates always suck and the livestock is always nervous, blah, Haley's there, blah what does she think blah. Haley deadpans into the microphone, "I'd rather not be associated with your lunacy, Mouth." Someone who isn't Jake makes a basket. Someone who isn't Jake warms up.
Peyton and Brooke saunter onto the court. Brooke says, "See, Lucas looks even hotter in blue. You should totally hook up with him." Are they the only two cheerleaders there? Did the budget not allow for the whole squad to come tonight? Peyton laughs, and Brooke continues, "What? At the very least, you're due for a little rebound action unless you're still into Nathan." Brooke has a little "R" on her cheek. They really are the only two Ravens cheerleaders. They stop. Peyton tells her she's not at all into Nathan anymore. Brooke replies, "All right. Since you're my pal, you can have a courtesy hold on Lucas for the weekend, but after that, he's fair game." Peyton rolls her eyes: "He's already fair game." Then Brooke turns her attention to Haley: "So what's the story with that one anyway?" Peyton says, "She's tutoring Nathan, supposedly." Brooke: "And hanging out with Lucas? Right, we're supposed to believe she's just friends with both of them." Brooke stares at Haley. At that exact moment, Nathan walks by and nods in her direction. Haley smiles at him. Brooke grabs Peyton: "Did you see that?" What? "Nathan just gave her the nod." Brooke, very rudely, I might add, points at Haley, and continues, "The 'let's hook up after the game' nod." Brooke leans into Peyton: "Do you know what I think? I think Nathan likes Tutor Girl, but Tutor Girl likes Lucas." Cut to Luke shooting a warmup shot. "And I know I like Lucas, and I don't know who the hell you like anymore." Peyton laughs again. Brooke keeps on talking: "This is all turning into one big love" -- Brooke pauses for a second to think -- "rectangle-plus-one, whatever that is." Heh. And toss up another shout-out to us for noticing that it's definitely gone beyond a love triangle at this point. Can we call it or what? Brooke and Peyton run off -- to join the rest of the squad, I hope.