One Tree Hill
Every Night Is Another Story

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The Things Rule The Earth

Brooke's acting like a complete idiot in the backseat of the car. She's waving her pom-poms around, giggling, wiggling about, and generally making a grand nuisance of herself. Then she tosses her poms out the window. She leans forward into the space between the front seats and says, "Don't you two like the same guys?" Haley's got her arms crossed; she's trying not to look uncomfortable. She says, "I'm just tutoring him, that's all." Peyton asks, "So, you're not into him, 'cause he seems to be into you." Brooke collapses into the backseat in her reverie, and then she stares out the back window, examining how exciting the condensation must be to a bug. Stoned Brooke screams, "He gave her the nod!" Haley nods her head. Peyton says, "Just be careful." Haley asks, "What about you and Lucas?" Peyton plays dumb. Haley quips, "Oh, come on! Tortured artist meets tortured athlete, talk about your obvious attraction." Um, I didn't know there was such a thing as a tortured athlete. Anyway. The car starts to beep. Brooke rolls her eyes to the roof and says, "I hear birds." Heh. Peyton bitches, "Unbelievable! Brooke! Did you not think to put gas in the car?" Brooke leans back forward between the two seats: "Answer the question, Brooke." She looks at Haley. Peyton pulls the car over. Brooke: "Why are we stopping?"

Luke and Nathan are back in the car and sandwiched between the Things. Thing says, "Cool, they scored the brew!" Thing 3 wants to know why they didn't get the porn. Luke interjects, "Hey, you've had your fun, now give us back our clothes." Thing 1 says that he's "done" with these "clowns." Now there's the pot calling the kettle freaking black there. He wants to go somewhere and get wasted. Thing 3 bitches, "Without porn?" Oh, good grief, these kids are moronic; Nathan wasn't joking about Pickerington Hicks. Anyway. They all hear the cop car approaching. So, Thing puts the car into gear and makes tracks. They barely get out of the parking lot before the unit car pulls in with its sirens blazing.

They park the car just off the main road. The cop car drives right past. The Things hoot and holler. Luke snits, "Yeah! Right! All right! Yahoo! Yeah, enough's enough. Give us our clothes." Thing holds up the gun. "Didn't they teach you how to say please in the suburbs?" Nathan grabs it: "He said, give us our clothes, you hick." The Things laugh as Nathan inspects the gun. "Great," he says, "it's a starter pistol. I knew this thing was a fake." Thing 3 says, "Yeah, but our fists are real." Thing says, "Look, we'll give you guys your clothes back, we'll even give one of you a ride home." Luke: "What do you mean by one of us?"

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One Tree Hill

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