They've given the boys their basketball shorts back. But they're still half-naked. Thing gives them the instructions -- they'll watch Nathan and Luke beat the crap out of one another, and they'll give a ride home to the one left standing. The game is called Gladiator. "The loser, well, he loses." Now, there's eloquence for you. Thing 3 takes a swig of beer and barks, "Let the games begin!" Nathan and Luke give each other a look. Surprisingly, Thing catches this and says, "The game isn't called two punks staring at each other, it's called Gladiator." Luke steps forward and says, "You guys can screw yourselves, because there's no way the two of us are going to fight." And right on cue, Nathan nails Luke in the face. Luke does his patented race-at-Nathan-and-push-him-to-the-ground move, and we're off to the races. Like the two of them needed an excuse to beat the crap out of each other.
The Things egg them on. Nathan punches Luke. Luke punches Nathan. Nathan throws Luke onto the car hood. The Things scream, "Yeah! Whoa! Yeah!" Luke kicks Nathan, who says, "Not only do I get to kick your ass, but I get to give you thirty miles to think about it." Luke pummels his brother. Nathan picks him up and tosses him back on the car hood again, and keeps him down by bracing his neck with his forearm. Luke says, "What the hell are you doing, man? We're fighting now?" Nathan screams, "You want it?" The Things wail. Then Nathan jumps around Luke, dives into the car, and grabs the keys from the ignition. He holds the keys up, and the Things brace for disaster. Nathan asks Luke if he's okay. Nathan says, "Pickerington morons." Thing says, "Give us our keys." Luke says, "Give us our clothes." Thing: "Fine." He tosses a white sock at him. Nathan twirls the keys; he's got a game for them, it's called Keys for Clothes. Sort of like strip poker in reverse. Thing 3 says no way. Nathan says, "Fine. We were walking anyways." Only then do they agree. Nathan: "Give him his sweats." Luke: "That's worth a house key." Nathan tosses a key to Thing. How do they get the keys off the ring so easily -- that process usually takes me a freaking hour, even when I have longer nails. At least we know that this is one time Nathan's cocky nature has actually worked in his favour, even if Luke's face will look like a bruised apple tomorrow.
Peyton can't get a signal on the cell phone. She complains. Haley tells her to pop the trunk. Brooke whisper-drunks, "Peyton, don't listen to her, it might be a trick." Haley finds the spare gas jug, shakes it, and says, "Yeah, it's empty. I saw a gas station a few miles back. If I'm not back in an hour, tell my mom I loved her." Brooke leers, "Don't you mean Nathan!" Peyton says, "I'll go with you." Brooke: "What about me?" Cut to Peyton shutting the door, leaving Brooke to scream, "I could suffocate in here." Um, can't she just unlock the door from the inside? She is in the car, where the locks are? Anyway. Haley jokes, "You did crack a window, didn't you?"