Previously on One Tree Hill: Sobell kicked some serious Tree Hill ass, and I need to thank her a thousand Sundays with breakfast in bed, champagne and strawberries, and whatever chocolate delights the world has to offer, because she did such an amazing job. So, when we last left off, Luke rolled up to Brooke's door and tried to apologize. She had none of it and told him to tell it to the girl he hooked up with last night. Cut to said hottie, who looks to be about thirty-five, straddling Luke on a children's ride. Um, ew. Then Luke apologizes to his mom for screwing up so much. Dan buys Keith's shop and makes him the bitch. Keith bends over and takes it, but we all know that's not going to last. Deb cries on the couch in her big lonely house as Nathan hands her some court papers. He's petitioning for emancipation from both of his parents. Jake opens the door and finds Luke's one night stand, Nikki, who asks how her daughter is…hm, seems that girl really gets around. Oh, and Peyton begs Brooke to forgive her, but she's having none of that either. Whew, that girl can hold a grudge!
Blah ball bouncing, blah being yourself, blah raspy voice, blah piece of mind blah. I hate the fact that I know all the words and can't stop myself from singing the whole damn theme song.
So, I guess the gym's in use, because Brooke and her team of squawking Ravens Cheerleaders are practicing in the middle of the quad. Outside. Where it's cold and your muscles would, well, have a hard time warming up -- not to mention that the ground is cement and it might hurt your knees or crack your head if you landed wrong, but whatever. They chant, "You can't shoot, you can't score, you won't beat us nevermore, go Ravens go! Go Ravens go!" These cheers are like haiku on acid for two-year-olds. Anyway. They shake the pom-poms. Hell, it's good to see Peyton doing something other than brooding or drawing. And at least Brooke looks good in her sweat suit.
Luke and Haley walk nearby. Haley jokes, "I guess you should feel pretty lucky getting to hang out with me like this. Do you have any other wishes I can grant?" Luke stops walking. They're both wearing very warm jackets. Because it's cold. But the cheerleaders keep cheering. Haley stops and says, "What?" He tells her that he'd like her to come to the tournament this weekend. She laughs, tosses her head back, and then agrees. Nathan comes up behind Haley, and Luke takes this as his cue to exit. Haley turns around and tells Nathan she'll be joining them at The Classic. Nathan teases, "You and me in the same hotel room? This weekend just got interesting." She smiles and says, "Down boy!" She giggles loudly. It's almost embarrassingly loud, like a guffaw more than a laugh. Heh. Haley swats him on the arm: "Plus, it's probably better if I don't leave you alone with all those cheerleaders." She puts on a cutesy/teasing voice when she says the word "cheerleaders." They get serious for a minute, and Nathan tells her that he got the apartment. That it drained all of his savings paying for first and last month's rent, but that he can move in on Sunday. Hm. If he has no more savings, and no job that we've ever seen, how is he going to pay the rent? Whatever. It's not real life and I'll bet that he'll be back with his parents in no time. They walk off arm in arm.
Brooke's Boot Camp for Wayward Spirit Sticks continues. As the girls hold their arms up with pom-poms in the air, she walks around criticizing their postures, their bad breath, and making cracks like, "Peyton. Nice form, and excellent betrayal of a best friend." Everything is "wrong" and "wrong." Peyton looks deflated but she doesn't say anything. Hell, she doesn't even take her arms down. Brooke walks around to the group after giving her last bit of the worst constructive criticism I've ever heard, and starts lecturing: "This weekend is The Classic. It's our biggest cheer competition. Aren't you sick of Clare Young and the Bear Creek Warriors taking home the trophy every year?" Peyton's sweatshirt/jumper says, "London." That's a shout-out, totally -- I was just in London. Heh. Yes, I'm reaching for straws, but this whole cheerleading competition subplot thing is just too easy -- it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Well, I wouldn't exactly shoot the fish, or use a gun -- oh hell, it's just a saying, people, don't call PETA. I promise no animals were harmed in the writing of this recap. Anyway. The cheerleaders are practicing. On cement. In the quad. In the cold. Wearing full make-up, no one's hair is tied back, and not a single one of them have even broken a sweat, and this is how they're going to win the competition? They might want to start with a real practice.