One Tree Hill
The Leaving Song

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
Life Lesson: Everyone Take Off!

Whitey hangs up his jacket in his office, only to look over and discover Dan sitting in his chair. The one behind the desk. Dan smirks, "I was just leaving you a note to call me." Whitey hangs up his hat and snaps, "I thought you had to invite vampires in." Heh. "I'm all talked out with you." Dan says cockily, "Well, that may well be, but I'm still going to need your playbook, stats, team roster. But don't you worry, I've got my own whistle." Dan leans back in the chair and looks at Whitey, who says, "What the hell are you talking about?" Dan smiles: "Looks like I'll be coaching that game after all." Whitey says angrily, "The hell you will. I told my decision was final." Dan insists, "And so's the Athletic Committee's. I believe they trump you." Okay, don't you need to be a teacher to coach a high school team? Did Dan go to the same school as Keith in the past few weeks? He's now qualified to coach a high school basketball team just because he's an overgrown hero? Dan leans even further back in the chair and taunts Whitey: "We had a little session this afternoon. You really should get yourself a cell phone, Whitey." Dan chuckles his evil man chuckle, gets up out of the chair, grabs the playbook, pats Woda condescendingly on the shoulder, and says, "Don't worry, Whitey. The team's in good hands!" Poor Whitey just looks after him like he can't believe what just happened, and frankly, neither can I. Those poor boys. They don't stand a chance.

Peyton and Brooke walk around the mall. They've got Jenny with them. Peyton pushes her stroller. Brooke jokes, "Well, it's never too early to learn to accessorize, right?" Peyton laughs. Brooke continues, "Wanna go look at CDs?" Okay, Peyton shops at a mall? Isn't she a "punk"? Doesn't she deem all things normal teenage kids do "passé"? Shouldn't she be busy finding some obscure band on the internet to obsess about? Anyway, Peyton says, "Why? So you can mock me as I check out all the new releases?" Um, isn't she into '80s metal these days? Whatever. They make Peyton hyper-cool one week, then a typical teenager the next. I can't keep up. They stop in front of a faux-Victoria's Secret and joke about trying on lingerie. Peyton wheels the stroller sort of behind her as they admire the window display. This was the point where I yelled, "Oh my god! She's not watching the baby!" And lo and behold, there's Nikki, and she's scooped Jenny up right from under Peyton's nose. "Well, well, well." She's bouncing Jenny up and down: "As a babysitter, apparently you suck." Peyton stands there with her mouth open to her knees and her eyes as wide as flying saucers: "What are you doing?" Nikki answers, "Protecting my baby. While you two Barbies were getting ready to make out, anybody could have taken her." Jenny's head falls onto Nikki's shoulder. Peyton tells her to put the baby down. Of course, Nikki doesn't. In fact, she walks away. Peyton and Brooke chase her. "Where are you going?" Nikki says, "Shopping with my daughter." Peyton tells Brooke to go get security. She runs off, and Peyton tries to run after Nikki, only she loses her while trying to find her phone. Peyton stops by a cell phone stand and borrows one of the phones. She dials quickly and asks Karen if she can talk to Jake. The one-sided conversation goes like this: "No, he can't call me back." Pause. "Well, where is he?" Peyton half-hangs up the phone as Brooke gets back with the security guard. Brooke says, "Peyton! Where is she?" They search frantically for a minute, their heads flailing around like bobble-dolls trying to see Nikki. Peyton mutter-whines, "I lost her in the crowd." Pause. "Oh, this isn't happening!" The security guard insists that they'll find her, if she's still in the mall. Peyton whines, "What if she's already gone?" Oh. The. Drama.

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