One Tree Hill
One Tree Hill

Episode Report Card
Ragdoll: C+ | 488 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Fabulous Life Of...

Mouth and Brooke are on their way somewhere else. She asks why he doesn't have a girlfriend. Mouth says it's because he's too nice and girls love jerks. Brooke rolls her eyes and says, "Tell me about it." Mouth says, "You mean, like Lucas?" Brooke shoots him a look: "I thought we weren't going to talk about him?" She bitches, "But I could just throw your ass out at the next light." He laughs. "So let me ask you a question: what do girls want?" Moe, the driver, says, "Half your paycheque." Brooke gets all huffy and rolls up the window. She answers Mouth's question: "Here's my philosophy on dating. It's important to have somebody to make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, you know, turns you on, and it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other." And as if he couldn't see that punch line coming like a telephone pole to the head, Mouth cackles like Brooke's Margaret Cho or something.

Nikki gets back to the car with a paper bag full of baby stuff for Jenny. She's all excited. She says to Jake, "I got the cutest little stuffed animal." She hands it to him. He takes it, and then just reams into Nikki: "She has a purple monkey that she can't sleep without. Everything else she ignores." He tosses the horse onto the hood and continues through the rest of the bag: "You got the wrong formula. She needs the special kind because she wasn't breast-fed." And it too is tossed aside. "Oh, the alcohol in these wipes is bad for her skin." Slam! "I buy her special vitamins because she was a little underweight at her six-month check up." Whack. "Ha! She doesn't read." Toss. "She sure as hell doesn't smoke." He pulls the last thing out of the bag and says, "Ho! At least you got the most expensive kind of ice cream." Nikki says something for the first time in her own defence: "I got that for you. Because on our third date because all you said for life to be good was a pint of this ice cream." Okay, what boy philosophizes over ice cream? Honestly. Come forward if you do, because I've never met one. Doritos, maybe. Coke, perhaps, but ice cream? Come on, get serious. Nikki's crazy misshapen eyes well up with tears as she continues, "I want your life to be good, Jake. I want to be with that boy who told me those things. Where did he go?" Jake pushes her off of him again as he says, "You left him." Anger pause. "Dammit, Nikki, it's not fair for you to come back here and do this. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to Jenny." She says a teary "I still love you, you know." Jake quiets down for a minute as he says, "That's funny. I can't tell you how many times I spent wondering when I was going to hear you say that again." Emotion pause. "Just hoping that the next time the phone rang that it would be you calling to say those words." Jake! "Now that you're here, I can't even remember why I needed to hear them." The anger pause sneaks up again. "You should recognize this next move, Nikki, you perfected it; it's called turning my back and leaving you behind." And with that, with all the junk on the trunk, Jake turns his back, gets into the car, and leaves her behind. Oh, boo-hoo, Nikki -- you abandoned your baby's father and your baby, what did you expect? That he would welcome you back with freaking open arms? As if, and plus, Jake's too good for you. Ha!

One Tree Hill

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP