Oscars 2013: The Liveblog
10:13: Ted 2 needs to happen if only because Mark Wahlberg is so damn good acting opposite that damn teddy bear.
10:14: Sound Mixing is on deck. Oscar goes to, Les Miz because it had, you guessed it, the Most Sound.
10:15: On to Sound Editing, but first, time for some anti-Semitic teddy bear patter.
10:16: People, if you haven't seen Ted, it really is funnier than this intro fiasco would suggest, honest.
10:16: In a rare Oscar tie, Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall share the Sound Editing award. Countdown until Chastain goes, "I'm the motherfucker who tied with James Bond."
10:20: ...And all of five people got that Sound of Music joke. But those five people laughed really, really hard.
10:21: Chris Plummer (who generally loathes talking about his time as a Von Trapp by the by) comes onstage to present Best Supporting Actress. We said Anne Hathaway. No way in hell we're wrong, the Waltz upset notwithstanding.
10:22: And to no one's shock, it is Hathaway. Well Anne, hope you're prepared to enjoy all the success and great roles that come with this particular award. Just ask Marisa Tomei, Mira Sorvino, Marcia Gay Harden...
10:26: Misfortunes like being sung to by Hugh Jackman? Doesn't sound so bad to us.
10:27: Also, no shout-out to Sally Field this time, Anne? One would think you've been exaggerating her impact on you to curate sympathy or respect or something.
10:33: Sandra Bullock sings the glories of film editing. It's how she won that Oscar for The Blind Side dontcha know.
10:34: Argo takes it, which basically seals the deal on its Best Picture win. Can we just skip to the end now?
10:35: Affleck and Clooney are engaged in the night's sexiest beard-off. The grey is giving the Cloonster the edge for the time being, but don't count out Affleck's Just For Men-assisted face carpet.
10:37: By the end of the night, we fully expect to have heard every single Bond title song sung onstage. Next up: Sheryl Crowe and Madonna doing a mash-up of "Tomorrow Never Dies" and "Die Another Day." It'll lead directly into the obituaries presentation since the epic badness will kill everyone in attendance.
10:40: It's just now sinking in that we're going to be watching this until 8 AM the way the show has been going so far. At Hour 10, look for Jennifer Lawrence to pull out her Hunger Games bow-and-arrow and start offing her competition.