Lost
Outlaws

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"Fancy thinking the Beast…"

Back to Sawyer's Porcine Quest. He's wandering around, feigning competence in reading trails. Kate pops out of nowhere and smarts off, "It's a footprint. Based on weight and distance in strides, I'd say you've been following Boone for about an hour." Sawyer is not thrilled to see Kate, something she blithely ignores, but instead of telling her that the boar story was an elaborate ruse to throw her off the trail of his hot love for Boone, he snots back, "I'm tickled you've taken such an interest in my affairs, I really am, so don't take it personal when I tell you to --" Tell her to what? We never find out, because stupid Kate interrupts to tell him she wants carte blanche to rummage among his inventory after she helps him find the boar. After Boone ponders for a moment how he can later use this situation to his advantage, he takes Kate up on her offer.

Cut to the two of them sitting around a fire at night. All this needs is a voice-over telling us that K-Tel presents "Songs to Kick Off A Totally Dysfunctional Relationship." Sawyer whips out a little airline bottle of booze and Kate asks him where he got it. Kate? You're on an island that has, despite astronomical odds, managed to avoid being infested by Starbucks, McDonald's and Wal-Mart. You really think that the liquor store people are going to make it out here? He got it off the plane, you simpleton. Sawyer says as much, and Kate says huffily, "Jack was looking for [the liquor cart]." Sawyer grins, "Good thing I found it instead then, huh?" Kate is charmed by his absolutely unapologetic demeanor. And then she asks for a drink. Sawyer tells her this is a BYOB campout. Then he relents, but tells her that if she wants to drink, she has to play "I Never." I'm guessing the first statement he'll make is "I never developed my social skills past age 15."

Sawyer explains the rules of the game to Kate -- someone says "I never did [whatever]" and if you have actually done it, you drink -- and then the two of them get down to the rare character exposition that doesn't require flashbacks.

We soon find out that Sawyer hasn't been to college. Kate hasn't been to Disneyland; Sawyer responds, "Aww, that's just sad!" Heh. Sawyer's worn pink at some point in his life, but he defends it with "the eighties." He's never voted, something that can't be defended, period. Sawyer's never been in love, but Kate has. Shocker of all shockers, Sawyer has to admit he's had one-night stands. Then we find out Kate was married. Then she says, "I've never blamed a boar for all my problems." Sawyer rolls his eyes and drinks, but gets some of his own back with, "I never cared about getting carte blanche because I just wanted to spend some time with the only other person on this island who just don't belong." Kate drinks. And then jabs again with, "I never carried a letter around for 20 years because I couldn't get over my baggage." Sawyer gives her A Look. And instead of responding, "I never suggested that hearing your father murder your mom before killing himself is fairly insignificant," he drinks. And then he says sadly, "I never killed a man." Now it's Kate's turn to look all upset. She drinks, resentfully. So does Sawyer. He finally says, "Well, looks we got something in common after all, mood killer." More or less. Let this be a lesson to everyone on the island: if you want to play a game, don't invite Kate.

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Lost

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