Oz
A Cock And Balls Story

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Megyn: D | Grade It Now!
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A Cock And Balls Story

Cut to Father Mukada and Beecher. Mukada tells Beecher he's got to forgive Schillinger. Beecher claims he has, and he's tried to make peace, but Schillinger's not having any of it. We then see Beecher seeking advice from Said. Said tells him he must do something extraordinary for Schillinger in order to bring peace between the two of them. An act of kindness. Beecher's dad comes to visit, and Beecher asks his father to find Schillinger's other son as a favor to him.

Cut to Keller standing watching TV; Beecher approaches. Keller asks how the visit went and tells him he smells sexy. Beecher tells him it's his father's aftershave. Ew. He breaks it to Keller that he asked his father to find ol' Vern's son. Keller's hella pissed. Beecher tells him he just wants to stop living every day in fear, that sometimes he just wants to wipe away the past and everything he's done to hurt people, and maybe this is the way to do that. He basically wants to atone for killing Andrew, Schillinger's son. Keller tells him, "Oz didn't make you a bitch; you were born one." Yeah, I totally relate to that. I know I've honed my God given gift since birth. Anyway, a fight ensues between the two lovers. Ooooh! Catfight. Beecher pops Keller in the face. Keller is choking Beecher. They get broken up; Beecher's taken to solitary. Naked. Yeah.

Back to Augustus rambling about crime and punishment. Blah blah b-l-a-h. Next, we see on the news that Shirley Bellinger is returning to Oz after miscarrying under suspicious circumstances. The governor revoked her pardon and now she's back on death row. Serial Mom wants her old cell back and despite offering sexual favors to the guy who is in her old cell, she's getting nowhere (the guy doesn't like girls that way). She then introduces herself to the other inmate, who also seems to hate her. Then she tries Moses. They have meaningless dialogue about how Moses got into Oz; he murdered his lover and her husband because he's got "principles." Uh-huh. Cut to scene in which Governor Devlin's campaign manager is asking Glynn if he'd be interested in running as Devlin's lieutenant governor. Apparently, Frank Feely has cancer, so he won't be re-running with Devlin.

McManus gets the update on where Whittlesey is from Pepa from Salt 'n' Pepa; Whittlesey was due back from vacation that day, but she didn't show up for her shift. He tells Pepa to have Diane call him. We are treated to a flashback of him asking Diane to try "it" with him again.

Sister Pete tells McManus that she talked to Diane, who is still in London and is getting married to a guard she met in front of Buckingham Palace. At first McManus thinks she's joking, and when it becomes clear that she isn't, he doesn't take it well. Sister Pete regards him calmly and waits. He freaks out. But wait, there's more! Diane doesn't want to talk to McManus, and Sister backs her up on that. She reminds him that Diane's had a tough time of it in the past and deserves to be happy. He ponders this. She offers him support, and he pulls out a bottle of whiskey. Good idea. Let's drink together.

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Oz

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