Oz
A Day In The Death…

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Baldness <> Death

You know, the only thing more annoying than an Augustus Hill monologue is an Augustus Hill monologue where he's basically doing nothing but serving as a mouthpiece for the writers' thinly veiled political viewpoints. This time he's bemoaning the lack of consistency in the way the death penalty is applied in different states. Oh, whatever. Shut up, Augustus Sorkin. And stop using the real Sorkin's fact-checkers while you're at it. Iowa doesn't even have the death penalty, you stupid moron.

Thankfully, we're soon returned to Cyril's cell, where Ryan is giving him some last-minute coaching on how to handle the "special" ECT session. Ryan still has that lock of hair wrapped around his finger, and he can barely keep himself together as he explains that a bunch of other people will be there to watch the big event. When Cyril innocently asks if Ryan himself will be among them, Ryan finally loses it for good, and starts sobbing right there in the cell. "Daddy said it's not good for big boys to cry," says a confused Cyril, and Ryan slowly brings himself under control by explaining that Dr. Nathan has diagnosed him with a rare condition that can only be cured by crying. Not even Cyril is fooled by such a lame excuse, but the mounting tension is suddenly broken when he loudly passes some fluffernutter-flavored gas. Both brothers quickly collapse into giggles, and it's quite possibly the strangest and most touching moment in the entire episode. Ahh, the healing power of gas. Nothing says "don't worry about the fact that your loved ones are mere minutes away from a state-sanctioned death" like ripping a nice juicy fart.

Betty Buckley arrives at this point, and does what any good mother would do by pretending not to notice the stench her two boys have whipped up in the confined space of their cell. Ryan calmly asks if she's heard any news from the lawyer, but the instant she steps into the cell to take over the Cyril-watching duties, he bolts out into the hallway and immediately pukes into the nearest bucket. Was it the smell, or merely the tension? You be the judge. While Betty teaches Cyril a short prayer he can say during the "ECT session," Ryan wipes his mouth and offers the guard in the hall a fairly large bribe in exchange for a copy of the notes he's been taking. The scene seems to give the impression that the guard says no, but he does pocket the money, and we later see Ryan reading something that could easily be the notes, so I guess it's sort of ambiguous. After it's announced that their time is up, both Betty and Ryan give Cyril a final hug. If you weren't crying by now, the childlike grin on Cyril's bald head as he engages his brother in a lengthy embrace was probably more than enough to put you over the top. And just in case it wasn't, here comes the guard with Ryan's treasured football jersey, which he's left for his little brother to wear. Cyril gleefully pulls on the shirt, and millions of Americans ponder how to explain to their spouses and significant others why a show that's primarily about anal rape and shankings has suddenly left them sobbing on the living room floor.

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Oz

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