Oz
A Day In The Death…

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Baldness <> Death

Suitably chastened by his encounter with the anvil of Unit Zzzzzzz , Rebadoze heads immediately to the library to make amends. Patti is there restocking the shelves when he arrives, and a quick close-up causes me to once again offer props to the props department, because it's Poet's book she's putting into place. Heh. I'm surprised the suits didn't make her use Hill's. Rebadoze convinces her to sit down for a talk, and an inmate who makes an even creepier Jesus than Creepy Jesus himself tries valiantly to ignore them as they bicker loudly about love and lumpectomies not three feet away from him. Sigh. You know what? I changed my mind. Cancer really is the scariest word in the English language. The good news about this scene is that costuming aficionados can get a kick out of the way Patti's sweater is clearly designed to call attention to her cancerous boobies, whereas Rebadow's neck-string is significantly droopier than normal, so as to better convey extreme contrition. Man, this show is attentive to detail in all the wrong areas, isn't it? Anyway, the bad news is that even though Patti basically tells him to get lost, the scene still ends with Rebadoze leaning in to administer a quick peck on the cheek that looked suspiciously like it might have involved some tongue. Ew. In fact, Creepier Jesus practically crawls under the table to get away when he sees it. Heh. I feel your pain, Creepier Jesus. I feel your pain.

The next stop on our Plots You Don't Care About That I'm Still Contractually Required To Recap Tour is Unit J, where Yood expresses shock that Idzik has requested a voluntary transfer to Em City. Idzik's reply is to deliver an incredibly long-winded and nonsensical spiel about his penchant for amateur astronomy and how it pertains to determining the airspeed velocity of an unladen sparrow. And then before Yood can even stop to ask, "African or European?" we cut to McManus's office, where Omar complains about the impending transfer in his own inimitable style. In other words, he shuffles around and stutters a lot. Timmy makes him swear that no harm will come to Idzik, and then drops the scene's big bombshell: Omar will be Lemmy's sponsor. Oh, yeah. Great idea, Timbo. Why not just make them live in the maze while you're at it?

In what is now officially the most annoying pod in the entire history of Oz, Omar is ranting about the colossal unfairness of it all. "[McManus] is looking to kick my ass back to solitary," he mumbles, "so he buddies us up and shit, man, you know, knowing there's gonna be motherfucking trouble." Huh? Idzik wants to know why there might be trouble, and then just when you think Omar couldn't possibly get any dumber, he answers, "Because I'm looking to whack you, man!" Idzik admits that he's actually relieved to hear this, because his whole suicidal purpose in coming to Em City was to find someone willing to kill him. Ooh! Ooh! I'll do it! Pick me! Pick me! Me! Me! Me! Damn. Omar is befuddled by this revelation, but then, Omar is befuddled by pretty much everything, so I guess that's not really news. To be honest, I just like using the word "befuddled."

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Oz

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