A Day In The Death…

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Baldness <> Death

Seeing as how we already know that the storage closets, kitchens, medical wards, laundry machines, mailrooms, and telephone lines in Oz aren't monitored or observed by guards in any way, I guess it shouldn't be much of a surprise that The Little Lackey and Johnson The Blatantly Guilty CO next meet up in the guards' lounge to loudly discuss their plans to kill both Billy Clyde Tuggle and Warden Glynn with perfect diction and a complete disregard for the possibility that anyone standing outside the WIDE OPEN DOOR that's RIGHT BEHIND THEM might overhear. That must have been the same prep school George W. Bush attended, because it's graduates aren't exactly covering themselves with glory at the moment. And sure enough, the very next shot is of Leo, standing over the blood-soaked body of Billy Clyde and hoping against hope that this will be enough to put him over the top in his quest for the coveted Deadliest Prison Not Located In Guatemala Award being handed out at next week's banquet. Go get 'em, Leo. You can do it!

Dino pops in to tell us that the third leading cause of death in America is stroke, or, "as they like to call it these days, a 'brain attack.'" Now, I know we had someone who claims to be associated with the show on our forums this week swearing that Jon Seda isn't reading from cue cards in this scene, but I don't believe a word of it. You can practically see his eyes moving, and his performance is flatter than a pre-Colombian map of the Earth that's just been starched and pressed by the local dry cleaners. Seriously, people. I've seen two-by-fours display more emotion.

But have no fear, because we're finally getting to the good stuff in this week's episode. Robson is out of the hole and into Sister Pete's office, where he admits that even though he's returned to his old ways of "bullying, and waving [his] dick around," he still feels badly about mistreating his wife during her visit. "I always swore I'd never lay a hand on Liesel," he says, before adding that if he had it to do over again, he'd "talk" and "hug her" and "stroke her hair," rather than simply "shoving her hand down [his] pants." Aww. See? Robson just wants to cuddle. He's really nothing but a big ol' man-raping teddy bear when you get right down to it, isn't he? Sister Pete slowly draws him out, and gently maneuvers him toward her ultimate goal, which is to have him vocalize what Cutler did to him so that he can accept it and begin healing. Robson tearfully does just that, and then sobs and hides in the corner as she watches him silently.

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