A Day In The Death…

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
Baldness <> Death

A grainy, VHS-style flashback of Nurse Nasty leads us into Morales's funeral, which consists of Father Mukada reciting the Lord's Prayer as Alvarez and Guerra load a simple plywood coffin into the back of a U-Haul. Man, where's Rico when you really need him? As if to mock me for all the times I've criticized their lack of lighting this week, this scene actually derives a significant amount of dramatic weight from the fact that it's one of the few times we've ever seen natural sunlight on this show. Once the coffin is safely on board the truck, Alvarez laments the fact that he'll probably get carried out of Oz in much the same fashion in the near future. McManus turns up to insist that he'll be paroled long before that happens, and then proceeds to promptly piss all over very that suggestion by pointing out that Miguel once punched the parole board's newest member right in the nose. There have been too many spoilers posted in the last few days for me to try to pretend I don't know how all of this is going to turn out, so rather than ruin things for those of you strong enough to stay pure, I'm just not going to say anything at all.

Who says murders in Oz never get solved? Dr. Nathan bursts into Leo's office, carrying the results of Morales's autopsy. After she announces that he was suffocated, they each take a moment to ponder who might have had access to kill both Morales and Martinez in such a similar fashion. If you look closely enough, you can actually see the little white mice turning the wheels in Leo's brain as he remembers that Morales reported being frightened by Nurse Nasty. They decide to pull her file, but before they can, Dino takes over to inform us that respiratory disease is the fourth leading cause of death in this country. I think you all know what I have to say about that. Sing it with me, folks: Flick…ahhhhhhhh.

When we come back, Gloria calls Nurse Nasty in for a meeting with her and Leo. They tell her that they've been reviewing her employment history, and that they know she was fired from both Millard Fillmore Hospital in Buffalo, and -- wait for it -- St. Eligius in Boston. Heh. I thought I was all clever for picking up on the subtle St. Elsewhere shout-out there, but then I went on the forums and saw that fifteen people had posted about it before I even finished the recaplet. You kids don't miss much, I'll definitely give you that. Leo announces that the cops are waiting to take Nurse Nasty downtown for questioning, which causes her to try and bolt for freedom despite the fact that she's currently ensconced somewhere deep within the bowels of a maximum security prison. She gets about three steps before a guard throws her against the wall, and the racial epithet she hurls at Gloria is just about the only hint at a motive we're ever going to get from this storyline. It's also probably best to not dwell too much on how it is that Nasty has been working in Oz for longer than the show has been running, but still never bothered to kill anyone before offing two prisoners in as many weeks just a few scant minutes before the final episode. That way lies madness. And plot holes.

Dino makes his fifth and final appearance at this point, sitting pointedly in Hill's wheelchair as he announces that "accidents" are the next cause of death on the list. Because no guest narration is complete without an overwrought reference to the end of the world, he also amends his earlier comments to say that "no matter what damn lie you've been told, we're the leading cause of death. Mankind. And there's no cure for us." Except for the mute button, of course. That'll cure anything.

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