Not satisfied with merely rubbing our noses in their collective corporate greed, the writers have now decided to inflict additional torture upon us by segueing into the I Didn't Even Know You Could Get Wrinkles On That Body Part segment of the show. Pablo Rosa (whose first name might as well be "Tabula" for all the emotion this actor manages to generate) swings buy, to return his book and allow his tough-guy veneer to soften just enough to request a second helping. Somewhere in America, Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog exchange high-fives. Once he's gone, the writers decide to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings by adding Busmalis to the mix. Oh, yeah. That'll help. Agamemnon is all atwitter because Norma is coming to visit, and this time he's actually going to meet with her. Rebadoze suggests that he "put on a tie and some aftershave," and it's with delicious irony that I report the fact that the neck string appears to have its very own key light in this scene.
Cut to the visiting room, where Norma waits patiently for Busmalis to good God, woman! Put on a bra, for Christ's sake! You could hurt somebody with those things! Not to mention the fact that they're hanging somewhere around knee level. That's just wrong. Anyway, Busmalis comes in and demands an explanation for why she left him at the altar and then got pregnant with another man's child. Norma immediately provides that explanation, complete with cheesy superimposed snow and the revelation that Elliot (the guy she cheated on Busmalis with) looks shockingly like the illicit love-child of Giancarlo Esposito and Christopher Lloyd. What's really scary is that he's still better than Busmalis. And just when you think things can't possibly get any worse, Norma blurts out that she thought about Agamemnon the whole time she was having sex with Gianopher. And then her left breast falls off and clanks to the floor. Sigh.
While Norma and Busmalis share a Metamucil toast to celebrate their reunion, Rebadow is downstairs in the library, reading aloud to Patti. Actual line of dialogue from this scene: "I love the timbre of your voice, Robert." And I love my mute button, Patti. After a brief interruption that features a guard calling Rebadow "loverboy," our intrepid octogenarian makes the most indecent proposal of all -- he wants to read naked to Patti in a garden, as Blake and his wife allegedly used to. Or at the very least, in a storage closet containing a few geraniums. After mentally reviewing all the disgusting things I've seen in my life (a list which includes Janice & Joey, my own femur, the body of a guy who jumped off a ten-story building, and the excreted remains of last night's quesadillas), I can safely conclude that the mental image of Rebadow reciting the collected works of William Blake with his red dragon flapping in the breeze would easily be number one with a bullet. If this guy starts showing skin, I quit. And then, of course, we move from the subcutaneous to the merely ridiculous, as Patti confesses that she has breast cancer. Now, I enjoy a good Race For The Cure just as much as the next guy whose mother has had a mastectomy, but SHUT UP, PATTI. And shut up, Automated Maudlin Character Generator, while we're at it. Not surprisingly, Rebadow doesn't take the news very well, and he stomps out of the library without a response. Do you get it? Because his grandson! Died! Of cancer! Oh, the irony! Oh, the humanity! Oh, the neck string!