Oz
A Failure To Communicate

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Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
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Super Hole

Our new narrator du jour is one Antonio Nappa, and given the pervasive product-placement for Hill's upcoming memoir that we've been forced to endure this season, it seems worth noting here that Mr. Nappa himself was killed precisely because he was writing memoirs of his own. Sometimes the ways of the Lord are not mysterious at all. Nappa wonders aloud if Gutenberg would be proud that his printing press had paved the way for "Juggs, High Times, and Soldier of Fortune." I'm guessing he would have been, but that's only because I actually subscribe to two out of those three magazines. I'll let you guess which two. Incidentally, here's a bonus freaky inter-textual coincidence for you: Gutenberg lived in the same town as Reb Amnon.

Next up we get Beecher, returning to Oz for the first time since obtaining his freedom. He exchanges a bit of banter with new, non-drunk gate-guard, who tries to liven things up a bit by mocking Beecher for calling Keller his "client," and also by suggesting that Beecher is required to list his favorite color on the entry log. "A little humor breaks up the day," grins Sobriety McHaha. And the recap as well, for that matter:

Knock knock. Who's there? Sars. Sars who? Sars got to be another show I could be recapping.

When the epic peals of laughter finally stop ringing through the murky corridors of Oz, Beecher takes a moment to gather his wits before finally setting foot back inside the prison. He barely makes it three steps down the hallway before bumping into a doorway that was all but invisible in the looming shadows. Just kidding. He actually bumps into Sister Pete, who was all but invisible in the looming shadows. She informs him about Said's death (even though the media has presumably been reporting it for some time now), but before we can get his full reaction, we cut away to a cheesy expository black-and-white flashback which reminds us of the circumstances surrounding Chris Keller's current incarceration on death row.

When we return to the present, Beecher is in Keller's cell, detailing his efforts to get the death sentence overturned. A cursory glance at Beecher's tie reveals that his unfathomable affection for the color cornflower blue has now carried over to his neckwear choices. I guess we should just be happy it's not a neck string, right? Anyway, Beecher seems to have found evidence that the witness against Keller is unreliable at best, which means that they have a good chance of winning their appeal. We also learn that Shelbyville is located in a "three strikes" state, which narrows the list of possible locations to a group of approximately twenty-three states and the District of Columbia. You know, in case you're still curious. Lopresti swings by to drop some rain on their lovable-murderers-going-free parade, and Keller quickly changes the subject to ask Beecher how he's enjoying his freedom. After listing a few of his favorite things (being outside, seeing his kids), Beecher makes the unforgivably stupid mistake of telling Keller that he's already met a nice woman who makes him laugh. Jesus Christ. What is he, drunk already? Your boyfriend's on DEATH ROW, moron. Don't be telling him shit like that. At least lie a little bit and say she was butt-ugly or something. Although it is good to know that Beecher's relationship skills are even worse than my own.

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Oz

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