Oz
A Failure To Communicate

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Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
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Super Hole

Back in one of the many areas of Em City where large numbers of prisoners are permitted to gather while totally unsupervised, Poet has assumed a new mantle of leadership. He explains to the rest of the gang that his new idea is for them to go work for Arif in the publishing house for a while, and then "come back double-time underneath the radar without [Crackhead Cosby]" so they can resume selling pudding pops to the general population. Man, I love it when a plan comes together.

But not as much as I love a good product placement, of course. McManus and the Muslims are gathered in the fully completed Print Shop That Time Forgot, where they're preparing to hold job interviews to fill out their staff. Um, wouldn't the Muslims be the ones doing most of the work? How many people do they need to print a glossy merchandising opportunity, anyway? It's not like they're copying the thing by hand. Before letting the applicants in, a nervous Arif gathers everyone around to pray, because they've all seen the recent profit warnings from AOL Time Warner, and therefore they know this book is the company's only hope for salvation. My only hope for salvation is the knowledge that Behind These Walls: The Journal of Augustus Hill is already available for pre-order on Amazon, which means that the scourge of product placement will hopefully soon be removed from our lives forever.

Tubey: Wanna buy a T-shirt?
Tom Fontana: Actually, I was thinking of going with a sticker. Or maybe a fleece pull-over. It gets awfully cold at night here in Shelbyville, you know.
Tubey: Great! Will that be cash or charge?
Tom Fontana: Are you insane? I'm not giving my credit card number to some strange [demonic television-related epithet deleted]!

Not satisfied with merely rubbing our noses in their collective corporate greed, the writers have now decided to inflict additional torture upon us by segueing into the I Didn't Even Know You Could Get Wrinkles On That Body Part segment of the show. Pablo Rosa (whose first name might as well be "Tabula" for all the emotion this actor manages to generate) swings buy, to return his book and allow his tough-guy veneer to soften just enough to request a second helping. Somewhere in America, Smokey the Bear and McGruff the Crime Dog exchange high-fives. Once he's gone, the writers decide to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings by adding Busmalis to the mix. Oh, yeah. That'll help. Agamemnon is all atwitter because Norma is coming to visit, and this time he's actually going to meet with her. Rebadoze suggests that he "put on a tie and some aftershave," and it's with delicious irony that I report the fact that the neck string appears to have its very own key light in this scene.

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Oz

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