A Game Of Checkers

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A | Grade It Now!
King Me, Asshole!

Right before Mukada enters, we hear Alvarez utter the word "hostages," so make of that what you will. In more important news, Alvarez has no shirt on. You know, you're in a lazy mood, you're slow to start a recap, and then something comes along to make it all worthwhile. Mukada asks everyone to clear out. Alvarez has a bunch of tattoos on his arms and shoulders. Were those there before? Do they symbolize his newfound status? Is it possible I could have missed a detail of his torso? Alvarez gives Mukada attitude, but the henchmen do leave. Mukada says that "Jose Torres" got paroled, and he hears that Alvarez is running the Latino gang. Alvarez: "The only reason why I didn't beat the shit out of you just now, is because you've been there for me. Don't push your luck." The testosterone splashes out of my monitor and seeps into my pores. Pardon me while I go watch some boxing or something.

Okay, I'm back. In the main area, a guy who for some reason makes me want to sing "I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay" returns to his checkers game, and immediately accuses his beefy opponent of moving one of the pieces. "Every time I have to take a shit, you move the pieces! That's why I'm fucking losing!" Schillinger's in the area, and if having him walk by just as the expression "take a shit" was uttered was an intentional bit of direction, I applaud you, Jean de Segonzac. The beefy guy says that the lumberjack is losing because he sucks, which is sort of what I was trying to imply, but that results in a flying tackle. The hacks try to break things up, with no success. Said and company watch from his pod as Diane calls for backup. Ryan and Ross emerge and applaud the festivities. Armstrong appears, but Ryan knocks him out cold and bloody, yelling, "Payback sucks, motherfucker!" From that, I gather that that's the dude that pummeled him in "Plan B." Ryan and Ross then turn on Brese as a few prisoners advance on Diane. During all of this, Schillinger is looking about as nervous as a virgin going to her high school prom. Alvarez and Mukada emerge, but Mukada is immediately dragged off. He pleads with Alvarez to help him, but Alvarez, looking a little conflicted, does nothing. The Muslims run out and get involved, and it's worth noting that Arif and his crew take the time to pull Diane's assailants away from her. Said digs under his mattress as Adebisi and his gang trash McManus's office. So Adebisi won the rock-paper-scissors game, then. Some guy stabs Dobbins. Adebisi and Ryan share a fond look. Aw. There's a fanfic couple for you. Glynn barks some orders at a hack, then tells McManus their worst nightmare has come to pass. Foreshadowing shakes his head sadly and sighs, "I tried to warn you all season, man." The Em City prisoners continue trashing the place. Alvarez lights a cigarette and then uses the match to set a large pile of mattresses and clothing ablaze. Well, that's two things that are scorching in that frame. Said finally reaches the guard's station, raises the gun he was given in the last episode, and fires. Everyone instantly stops what they're doing. He rasps, "Now let's get organized!" Everyone cheers.

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