A Word To The Wise

Episode Report Card
Djb: D | 3 USERS: A+
Yawn. Look, Another Penis.

In the strangely unguarded and completely empty gym with its free weights and numerous other metal death tools, many of which can be configured to outweigh even the fastest of men, Ryan enters to find Keenan mid-lifting. After some more faux luck-o'-the-Irish bonding, Ryan asks Keenan just what it was like to violate Dr. Nathan. And so Keenan begins his story, "She was walking into her apartment. And she was so hot." This proud depravity is juxtaposed against Cyril the Innocent waking up in the hospital and saying things to Gloria like, "My brother, he does bad things. But deep down, he's not bad," and the even more cloying (is that even possible? Read on!) "He loves you. With all his heart." Back in the gym, Ryan soaks in the rest of the story, exhales a genuinely winded, "Jesus," before collecting himself and adding, "You sure did a job on her." Ryan asks Keenan if he would like to work for him. Keenan would very much like to, indeed. Then he tells Keenan that he always gets someone else to kill for him. Then he makes an exception just for Keenan. Barbell fun times. Keenan hits the floor, dead. Arif, standing near the door, watches it all, but runs away before Ryan sees him. Ryan steals Keenan's shamrock necklace. Cut to Keenan being wheeled out of the infirmary, as Gloria gives the directive to send him down to the morgue. She returns to her office to find an envelope with her name on it, which she cracks open to discover contains a note written by a production assistant whose boss probably told her, "You're writing this for Ryan O'Reily's character. Try to make it look like you're real craaaaaaaaaazy." The note reads, "All for you, Gloria. All for you." The shamrock falls out of the envelope into her hand.

Glynn's office. Dr. Nathan tells Leo that she came back too soon, and she needs to leave Oz immediately and try to deal with her anger. Glynn tells her that her job will be waiting for her when she wants to come back. She changes said "when" sentiment to an "if," and retreats to her office. While she's packing her belongings into a cardboard box while a Hill narration rages on all the while (Whatever. Pause buttons exist for a reason), she tosses the shamrock into the garbage and, reconsidering, picks it out again. On her way out of the hospital, she stops by Cyril's bed and smoothes his hair. Over in Ryan's pod under the darkest cover of night, he's looking way too pensive to not fuck with an unsuspecting audience of me one last time this week. Then he stands up, completely naked, and walks right up to the transparent floor to ceiling glass of his pod. How. YOU. Doin'?

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