A Word To The Wise

Episode Report Card
Djb: D | 3 USERS: A+
Yawn. Look, Another Penis.

Maybe because he didn't get a hug and was feeling left out, Ray is the only person besides Beecher and his lawyer to sit in on a meeting over in Ambiguous Conference Room #1. Lawyer man says that he has checked out the leads passed along by the Stephen King doppelganger of a few weeks back, and nothing adds up. They have conclusively proven that Keller had absolutely nothing to do with the kidnapping, and that they have arrested "the real kidnapper," the son of a good clean family man, a responsible and shockingly non-incarcerated youth named Hank Schillinger.

Schillinger Sr. is sitting down to a meeting with Beecher's lawyer and Keller is being released from the hole as we find ourselves back in Querns's office. He speeches the two podmates and lovebirds (for a riveting congressional filibuster ripped straight from the pages of the OED on how that word came into being, stick around and all will be explained! Don't, actually. I'll probably be skipping right by it for a change) that they are not to touch each other ever again "in love or in war," and tells Keller he is being transferred to another pod. He then sends Keller packing (wow, literally), and tells Beecher to stay behind. He informs Beecher that his movements through Oz will be limited now that the truth about the kidnapping is known, but Beecher wants to know why he is being punished for the death of his own son. Querns squirms: "Given the fact that I have transferred all of the Aryans out of Em City, this is the safest place for you." Beecher throws a jaded "Ha! What is safe, anyway" look in Querns's general direction, and Querns relents: "Relatively safe." In other words, safe to the point of being not at all safe. Got it.

Cue the big break-up. Beecher enters the pod to find Keller packing up his suitcase full of pain. Beecher apologizes, "My son died horribly. I was out of my mind with grief." Keller hath no fury: "You've got plenty of reasons to assume the worst about me. But I worked very hard to regain your trust, your love. I thought I had, but this proves I haven't. I can't. I won't. I never will." Keller cannot forgive him for the mistrust. Keller leaves. Keller is instantaneously to be replaced by Beecher's new podmate, who instantaneously exhibits many different kinds of bad roomie behavior. He takes the top bunk, which Beecher claims is his. Adebisi appears at the door and warns New Podmate that he'd better "be nice," thwarting the building tension at least for the moment. But I have a sneaking suspicion that if this show follows its typical pattern, New Podmate is not yet finished demanding the numerous ways and means in which he intends to, when it comes to Beecher, be on top. If you know what I mean. And you do.

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