Oz

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A- | 398 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Nice plan, brain trust.

McManus's next stop on The Slow Boat To Boredom is Wangler, who's mopping floors. This is a really boring scene. You don't really want me to recap it, do you? Really? Honestly? Oh, fine. McManus notes that Wangler went to class when he first came to Oz, but he stopped. Yeah, that was right around the time he learned the meaning of the word "optional." McManus asks how he's going to get a job when he gets out, and Wangler duhs that he'll be finding a comfortable vocation in the drug trade. McManus says that if Wangler starts going back to class, he won't have to mop floors any more. What is this, kindergarten? I thought you were making it mandatory! Not only am I running low on "shut up," I'm also starting to dip into my bucket of "whatever." I hope McManus's screen time is almost over. Anyway, Wangler agrees. Scene!

Lord. Now McManus goes to see Poet, who appears to be writing something. McManus asks what it is, and is told that it's a poem. We see said "poem," which is actually a scary-looking doodle of a building, with insects and fire or blood around it. Boy, I wish I could turn my in recaps in that format. The only distinguishable word on the paper is "fuck." Yup, looks awfully familiar. Poet's sporting zigzag sideburns. McManus asks him to read the poem, and he starts in about roaches and motels. The poem continues into voiceover as we get Poet's prisoner flashback. "Prisoner Number 96J332. Arnold Jackson, a.k.a. Poet." Armed robbery, attempted murder, possession of a deadly weapon. Sixteen years, parole in nine. In broad daylight, he, now wearing cornrows, accosts a wealthy-looking couple with a gun on a nice-looking street. He stands way too close to them, and a scuffle ensues which ends in the husband getting shot. The car alarm goes off, in a nice touch. Poet runs off. Not the brightest star in the heavens, our Poet. McManus tells Poet he wants him to go to class and get his GED, and bribes him with a one-time conjugal, even though Poet isn't married. He sticks out his hand to seal the deal, but Poet merely nods his agreement, demonstrating that no matter how horny he is, he ain't touching McManus. Poet walks away, and McManus tries to pretend that he wasn't completely dissed.

Oz

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