Diane and Schillinger pedeconference. He reminds her that he saw her shoot Scott Ross. As I smile contentedly at the memory, he goes on that he knows about her kid and her sick mother, and that he'll pay her two thousand dollars to kill Beecher. If he gets out, he says, he'll never tell anyone about Ross. She tells him she'd need the money up front, and he says he'll have it wired to her account. Even on first viewing, I didn't believe Diane was morally bankrupt enough to do this, but I'd point out that a wire transfer from Schillinger would be a pretty damning piece of evidence. Anyway, she agrees. Schillinger smiles again. Shudder.

Blah blah blah Aztec-cakes.

Night. Diane marches determinedly into Em City. Schillinger sees her. She signals to the hack at the control panel, and he opens Beecher's pod. Again, I can't believe Schillinger thought she would do this in full view of the entire prison, but I guess he's just not really on his game right now. Diane gets Beecher out of bed, has him put pants on, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Said, Adebisi, and Ryan all watch, ostensibly to heighten the drama, but really, come on. The next morning, the prisoners gossip about what happened. Adebisi thinks Beecher and Diane are "probably fucking," while Rebadow thinks Beecher paid Diane to help him escape. Alvarez says they were sleeping together, but Beecher was going to tell someone, so she tried to kill him. Given that Schillinger approached him, wouldn't Alvarez have a clue here? Schillinger eavesdrops and smiles contentedly. Later, Schillinger meets up with Diane, and is positively giddy. She asks him a couple of questions that establish that he hired her to commit murder. Not noticing the big neon sign behind her that's flashing, "SHE'S RECORDING THIS, YOU IDIOT!" he answers truthfully. She asks if he wants to see the body, and he says yes. She leads him up the spooky stairs and opens a heavy door. There's no one there at first, but then a grinning Beecher appears from around the corner. Schillinger's aghast, and it only gets worse as McManus shows his face, along with a few hacks. Schillinger plays dumb, but Diane's already there with the tape, which she plays back. McManus says that instead of a parole hearing, Schillinger will be attending his very own conspiracy to commit murder trial. Wow, McManus gets edged out of first place for the episode at the Chump Awards! Of course, the Lifetime Achievement Award is another story entirely. Schillinger gets dragged away to the hole.