Ancient Tribes

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Nice plan, brain trust.

Adebisi tells Wangler that he'll handle Ryan. In the next pod, Ryan tells Kirk that he'll handle Adebisi. Yeah, they're doing it. Ryan is sporting long hair that could almost be called a mullet, and long sideburns. Would it surprise anyone to learn that I think he looks hot? Yeah, that's what I thought. He tells Kirk that he's worried about the Sicilians, and that Peter Schibetta is running their operation now. Schibetta deals cards to his outfit and tells them they're taking back the drug trade and finding out who hurt Nino. Peter's hair has calmed down considerably, by the way. It's still a little big, but at least he doesn't look like he'd have no need of a parachute if he jumped out of an airplane.

In his pod, Alvarez says that everyone's going to learn that "they can't shit on us no more." You might want to make sure Beecher gets that message. Hill bitches about being an "other." The other others are Beecher, Rebadow, and "Agamemnon Busmalis, a.k.a. The Mole." That's not the a.k.a. I have for him, but at least he's not wearing that stupid hat yet. That thing belongs on The Amazing Race. Busmalis says he's going to dig his way out of Oz. If fucking only.

Hill whines to McManus that he doesn't belong with "those three clowns." Considering your Harlequin Crackhead Monologues, I think it's one of the most insightful things McManus has ever done. Hill particularly whines about Beecher, and we're treated to a flashback of Beecher spitting out Robson's tip. At least we could have gotten to see some ass or something. I suppose that's why McManus is in this scene. Hill says living with Beecher means that he has to sleep with one eye open. Let Schillinger bunk with him, then. Thank you! Actually, I don't know what Hill's so worried about -- at least he wouldn't feel anything, right? Later, Beecher sleeps in the top bunk as Hill lies awake below. Beecher gets up to take a piss, and Hill protectively reaches for his naughty bits. Hee. Although does he think Beecher's some sort of dick shark or something? That would make a good Saturday Night Live sketch, now that I think of it. Hill turns toward the wall. Beecher relieves himself, and either he drank an awful lot of coffee that day, or the Foley guys just got a raise.

McManus calls the first council meeting to order, and asks for a recording secretary. Random Biker or Aryan: "You don't know how to write?" Well, we have our snark secretary, at least. Some other guy volunteers. McManus blathers that a lot of them had shitty upbringings, but he's offering them the opportunity to turn their lives around. Hill and Ryan smirk as Alvarez lays his head down on the desk. I feel you, Migs. Adebisi lazily asks how he's going to do that, and for a lifer like him, that's a very good question. Schibetta is in attendance as well. McManus says he's going to start with mandatory education. After some moaning about conjugals and cigarettes, McManus says they're going to need more teachers, and that he's looking for volunteers. Adebisi nominates O'Reily. I don't think he's looking for that kind of teacher, Simon. McManus addresses a youngish Oxford-shirt-wearing guy named Coushaine, who I think must be the only inmate with less street cred than Busmalis, and asks him to help out, as he used to teach high school. He agrees. Wow, this is going swimmingly! Now when does this hand basket arrive at hell?

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