Animal Farm

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | Grade It Now!
Is That A Bestiality Reference?

Alvarez goes to see his dad. He impassionedly describes the Scylla of El Cid and the Charybdis of the hacks he's between, and says he doesn't know what to do. His dad kisses him twice. No tongue, though. Thank you! I'll show myself out!

Diane calls count. On the balcony, Rivera gets up to Alvarez, who stops him. Rivera asks what, and Alvarez menaces, "They say the eyes are the mirrors of the soul." I'm glad I can touch-type, because I'm recapping this next bit with my eyes closed. False alarm -- Rivera just walks away, looking slightly freaked out. Alvarez enters his pod and removes a very sharp-looking surgical instrument from his waistband. He hides it away. I practice my touch-typing for the season finale.

Flashback to Said asking McManus if Diane killed Ross. Pause long enough for the polar ice caps to melt. McManus: "No." In the present, Diane catches McManus and asks him if he has time to go over some reports, which he doesn't, since he's sitting in on Coushaine's class. Later, in the gym, McManus enters with a basketball to find Glynn lifting weights. McManus asks Glynn about his family, and Glynn rather happily says that his daughter's home from the hospital, and somewhat less happily says that his brother's trial starts in two weeks. Eventually, McManus gets to his self-involved point, which has to do with Ross's shooting. Tim, why don't you go for a slam dunk and use the hang time to GET OVER YOURSELF. God. He says he can't live with the lie. Glynn: "Then find a way to lose the lie." And while you're at it, find a way to lose the goatee.

McManus enters the locker room to find Diane getting changed. He says he's going to be blunt: He lied under oath for her, and seeing her reminds him of that, so he wants her to transfer to another unit. He leaves, and Diane looks after him like, "And I saved your life...why?"

Prisoners in the main area gossip about Diane's transfer. Rebadow is the only one whose speculation is in the ballpark of the real reason she left. Alvarez, who seems now to be welcomed by El Cid in advance of the ojo-ectomy, asks who the new head hack will be. El Cid says he doesn't care as long as it's not Rivera. Alvarez stares at Rivera, and if what he said earlier is true, his soul is looking mighty ugly.

Some nonsense about animals and masters and heaven and truth.

Guerra taps Beecher, who's watching TV, on the arm, and Beecher follows him into a secluded area, where he sells Beecher a bottle of whiskey. Mmm, whiskey. Beecher returns to his cell, but Said accosts him and begs him not to drink. Beecher sarcastically says that Said loves to meddle, because he's so much better than everyone else. Beecher lists Said's failures: Hill, Keane, Mershah, and Groves (although that one's a stretch). "But in the end, when all is said and done, who have you really fucking helped?" Said says Poet, but that's just what Beecher wanted to hear. "I just saw on the news he killed a man. He's coming back to Oz." Said looks like he's been slapped in the face, kicked in the balls, and fucked in the ass. Just another day in Oz. By the way, I don't believe this little speech to Said is in character at all, even with the drinking and the Keller-missing and all. Inaccuracies of Beecher's analysis aside (Mershah got no worse than what he deserved, and Keane's death was his own choice, and served the purpose of ending the feud between his people and the Italians), Said's never done anything to him to warrant this kind of treatment, and while Said may deserve a bit of a bitch-slap from time to time for his nosiness, I don't think Beecher would or should have had this reaction to Said's genuine concern. The whole Beecher's Descent subplot strikes me as somewhat forced, and nowhere more than here.

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