Oz
Blizzard Of '01

Episode Report Card
Megyn: B- | Grade It Now!
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War...what is it good for?

Cue the rape flashback so that we all know the new inmate, Colonel Edward, is a fuckwad. He gets introduced to Beecher, his new roommate. Do they not have any other damn pod to put these people in? It's getting to be a joke. It really is. Colonel sort of brushes aside Beecher's greeting, which was half-hearted anyway. Cut to the revolving pod as Beecher sits on the throne and goes big potty. That-a-boy! Break the new roomie in quick! Mark your territory! Show us your goods! Beecher tells his new friend he saw on the news how he became Colonel (in the) Clink. Clink says he broke the "code of honor" and deserves his punishment. Beecher wipes his ass and stands up to show us, for one brief moment, how cold the pod has gotten since all that snow fell. Clink tells him he won't have any trouble adapting to Em City, since he's used to being in the company of men. A fight erupts outside; Beecher smirks and quips, "Okay then!"

Group therapy. Pete asks Clink what he likes to be called -- Ed, Eddie? Julia Roberts calls to say that Edward is her favorite name in the whole world. Ryan looks bored. "I prefer Colonel." Pete's all, "Ohhh-kay, Colonel, do you want to talk about your addiction?" He doesn't believe it's an addiction, per se, but rather a mild case of not having any control of his actions when drinking excessive amounts, such as raping a fellow officer. He says it won't happen again. Beecher disputes this. Clink tells Beecher that only a weak man can't maintain control. Beecher admits he may be weak, but at least he has the "balls to admit it." Sister Pete tells him that'll be quite enough as the bell rings and they all skip off to recess.

TV time, and it's everybody's favorite game show. Miles Silverberg is the celebrity guest. Burr, watching the show, mutters, "Murphy Brown…funny show." Ryan sleazes that he loves Candice Bergen and her boobies. Morales says, "The other girl was cute." Beecher gets the answer correct, the question being that more people in China speak English than in America. Jia leans forward and says even he didn't know that. Wow, and he looked so bright, too. Rebadow says that Beecher should go on the show. Every time Rebadow speaks, I think he should hold a flashlight up to his face. It would just go with the expression he wears. Beecher mocks that yeah, he should really go on a game show and introduce himself as the drunk driver who killed a child. He leaves. Rebadow looks amused, even though it wasn't funny.

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Oz

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