Oz

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Couch Baron: A+ | 319 USERS: C+
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Depression On A DVD, Part Two

McManus gives Gloria a back rub. Okay, sap's gone. He asks if she's gotten Said's test results, and she says she's just waiting for the MRI. He asks her to dinner, but she begs off, and says she's witnessing Keane's execution. Knowing that's going over about as well as someone jumping the Grand Canyon on a tricycle, she turns to look at him. She says she's not actually administering the injection, only declaring the death, but he doesn't care. They fight, and he grabs her arm and punches the wall in anger. She dismisses him, not that I blame her, but I wish she hadn't opened the door for the ever-approaching horror I'm going to be witnessing soon.

Protesters. Some guy rushes up and tries to grab Pete's sign away. Diane watches out the window as McManus sits down next to her, facing inside. Oh God. It's not like my dinner was so great that I'm dying to get reacquainted with it or anything. She offers him the bottle of clear liquor out of which she's been swigging, and he accepts. McManus asks what's going on, and she tells him that some pro-death-penalty guy took a swing at Sister Pete. He asks if she's okay, and we see Pete kick the guy in the balls. Heh. They both say they're not going to watch the execution. Diane says she can't even watch flowers die. "The closest I ever came was Bambi." Huh? Turns out her ex-husband was a big hunter, and she tagged along with him one time. She managed to shoot a deer, and went over to check it out. "This deer looked up at me, with these eyes like flashlights. I knelt beside it, and I held its head and whispered, 'I'm sorry.' Then, like batteries going bad, the light in his eyes flickered a little bit and went out." Diane goes on that she had to stare at the deer's head in their living room for two whole years, and when they got divorced, the only thing she asked for was the trophy, so she could bury it. Well, thanks for throwing a little comic relief into this episode, Tom. I could use a couple more laughs, though -- do we have time for anyone to slit his or her wrists? McManus says he feels like his head is on someone's wall, then invites Diane to dinner. So that's what the bleeding-heart liberals are calling it these days.

Keane chats with L'Italien, who says his execution is the following week. Keane tells him about a death row movie starring Susan Hayward, which I've identified as I Want To Live!. Keane says that Susan was up for execution, but her attorney pleaded for a reprieve, so she waited for the call that would set her free. L'Italien predicts that the call came at the last moment, but Keane says he thinks she fried. Is there room in Oz's budget for a professional motivational speaker? Because these people suck at making each other feel better, and I'm getting the worst of it. The misery continues as Glynn, accompanied by Said, enters, and in a businesslike manner asks Keane to divide up his possessions. Keane says his family will be claiming his body, and his dad and Said will be his witnesses. Keane signs the form Glynn gives him, and Glynn asks Said if he's sure he should see this, and I don't think hell or high water would stop Said from being with Keane until the end. And that end, it seems, is now, as Glynn calls for a hack to escort them.

Oz

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