Capital P

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Depression On A DVD, Part Two

Think happy thoughts. Think happy thoughts.

That is so not going to work.

We see a flashback of Keane's showdown in the gym as Hill tells us that we have certain inalienable rights. He goes on that the state, however, can take all our rights away by killing us, as we get a montage of more shots of the aforementioned scene and ones of Keane at his new trial. Hill tells us that the Pernicious Peewee has brought back capital punishment in the state, and that he's decided that Keane, a person he's never met, should die. Cut to the PP in a press conference, saying that the mood of the country has changed, and that people need a sign that something is being done about crime. A reporter asks if he thinks so in spite of the fact that, as has been amply shown, capital punishment has "no effect" on crime. The PP: "Especially if it has no effect. These days murders are random, senseless. Maybe the punishment should be too." Wow. It's a good thing you're so teeny, Pernicious Peewee, because no one else could get away with standing on a platform that shaky. To his credit, Glynn, standing next to him, looks like he doesn't even know where to start with that statement. The PP goes on that Jefferson Keane will be the first person executed by their state in thirty-four years. "He's the first because he deserves to die."

The Ironic Segue Fairy, who got held up through the first few episodes by a strip-search gone horribly awry, finally appears as Sister Pete bites out, "Jefferson Keane is the first because he's black and he's young. The public is not gonna feel safe if we execute a seventy-year-old white guy." Really? That Rebadow looks awfully shifty to me. See how I cleverly got a Rebadow execution reference in there? See? See? You guys never see. Glynn asks if she's going to turn this into a racial thing with him. Rather than get into the obvious socioeconomic discussion, Pete simply responds, "Oh, please." Diane asks about all the protesters Keane's execution will inevitably draw. Glynn says they won't be a problem, but Pete informs him that she'll be standing with them. This provokes a tête-à-tête until Glynn lets her know that if she goes through with joining the protesters, she'll be singing "I Like To Be In America" on a street corner, or doing some other activity that is not her current job. Everyone flinches, and Pete, after a pause, dramatically walks out of the room, but not before telling them there's no need to wait for any kind of resolution, as they won't be seeing her sassy ecclesiastical ass again. No wonder they call her Pete -- she's got balls.

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