Oz
Capital P

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Couch Baron: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
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Depression On A DVD, Part Two

L'Italien asks Mukada if he's ever eaten "bull's balls." Mukada smiles and says no, undoubtedly thinking that if anyone he knows has, it's Groves. I'd like to note that, while the "fuck" count is again much lower than in the first two episodes, I don't know that I've ever seen an episode of a television show where the word "balls" was used so liberally. I wonder what the logical progression here is. I suppose "ass" is as good a next curse of the day as any, although I'd expect that to occur in a Schillinger-centric episode. Anyway, L'Italien tells him that they're served every year at the Bohemian Grove, a retreat in San Francisco for white-collar stuffed-shirt types. Oh, you mean a place where a bunch of overeducated, sexually repressed types smoke way too much pot and try to out-bullshit each other while trying to sound as intelligent as possible. I went to one of those. They called it "college." L'Italien waxes nostalgic about men of power, which leads into a rant exposing L'Italien for the hyper-misogynist he is. We learn that Mukada's never been with a woman, like that's some revelation or something. Father Ray is gay, yo. L'Italien blathers that he loves women, and the list of the kinds of women he likes is basically the serial-killer version of that verse of "Spill The Wine." He tells us, "I fucked the dwarf while the fat lady watched us." That doesn't sound like a breakaway pop hit. I could definitely see it climbing the country charts, though. He also says he fucked a woman with no legs, which means he's done Tony Soprano one better. Mukada opines that fucking them isn't the same as loving them, and asks why he kills them. L'Italien gives the distressingly dissatisfying answer that love is ownership. "I will not be possessed." Tell that to Satan when he's fucking you up the ass, Dick. Thoroughly beaten, Mukada asks him if he wishes to be absolved for his sins, to which the answer is a hearty, "Fuck, yes." He slaps his head all "I coulda had a V8!" and says he should have ordered bull's balls for his last meal. Well, from the look on his face, I think Mukada would cut off your balls and feed them to you if you're interested, jerky.

Strapped down, L'Italien whines that he isn't ready for this. Thirty-nine women snicker sardonically from beyond the grave. Hill gives us a description of the lethal injection process, and we see L'Italien start convulsing. He unclenches his hand, and the yo-yo unspools and falls to the floor. Very soon after, Gloria pronounces him dead.

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Oz

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