Oz
Conversions

Episode Report Card
Megyn: B- | 1 USERS: D
YOU GRADE IT
There once was a healer from Nantucket

Hill: "Every person on the planet was raised to believe some version of the truth. This is called religion." Can you say…religion? I knew you could. Betsy the cow can moo. Can you moo too? "If these beliefs break down, we convert. Now, that conversion can be traumatic." Yeah, your skin, like, breaks out and stuff.

McManus, who obviously rented Evita the night before, addresses the inmates on the stair landing from the second level. Murphy stands next to him, his mouth set firmly in place. McManus announces that from now on, in his ongoing effort to improve the quality of their lives, they will show an instructional video for one half hour of TV time. Oh, and attendance is mandatory. The crowd erupts with displeasure. Murphy, much like the WB frog back when he was in Bugs Bunny cartoons, changes from lifeless to "I wanna hear silence!" then, without a beat, slips directly back to stoic. McManus ain't through. He's gonna fix stuff! He's in charge! He unveils a cage where, from that fateful day forward, they will be sent instead of to the hole. It's like Boxing Helena, except nobody gets their arms or legs cut off and Julian Sands isn't there. The plan is to confine them in full view of their adoring public. That ought to teach them to behave. The cage in question looks like the kind they put divers, or people on Road Rules, in to photograph sharks. I've never understood that myself. I prefer staying on land where I'm in charge. Keller takes the opportunity to shoot his mouth off: "Mr. McManus, sir! How big is your penis again?" McManus -- memories of teenage ridicule involving girlfriends' laughter while extending pinky fingers as visual clarifications of the source of their dissatisfaction, running through his mind like electric shocks -- grins, disguising his pleasure at what he believes to be Keller noticing the result of his Swiss penis enlarger and inflatable codpiece, and bans him to the cage. Keller enters the cage to learn the error of his ways, while McManus announces that the first video is about to start. Said video looks like a home video about building a house. Got-to-have-a-strong-foundation-cakes.

While they do that, we go to solitary as Omar White is being released. He passes by Supreme Allah, who looks on from his tiny little window and says, "You tell them I'm coming back…Supreme will be back. Coming back strong!" And if he comes back in thirty minutes or less, he's piping hot. White kind of nods as he's led out. White isn't the sharpest tack.

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Oz

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