Oz
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Episode Report Card
Megyn: B- | 1 USERS: D
YOU GRADE IT
There once was a healer from Nantucket

For the love of all things holy! We are treated to a most unholy flashback of Ryan and Claire as they get all vertical against the bathroom sink. You all remember -- the one where he asks her if she'd do anything; she confirms that, yes, she would; America vomits simultaneously. Basically, a big ew. Turns out that flashback was brought to us by Ryan telling Keller, during one of their famous chess games, that he did the deed with the malevolent toad. Keller: "You fucked Howell?" Ryan confirms with a sly half smirk. Keller, containing his urge to run vomiting into the showers, turn them up to "scald," and sink to the floor in a heap of helpless sobs, says, "You don't just drop a nugget like that without a few details." Well, he's "dropped" his nugget in worse places. Keller's question here being…"Why?" Ryan: "We had sex maybe, five times, in the ladies toilet -- she got weird." "What do you mean weird? Like, possessive weird?" "Yeah." Keller asks him point-blank if he did it for the sex, or for another, more shady reason. Beecher walks by to insert the requisite smoldering look of smirk as Ryan smoothly lies that he did it for the sex. We pan down to the metaphoric game of chess just as Ryan says, "Check."

Ryan, walking down a dark hallway of set-up through what looks like Unit B, and we see Claire coming towards him. An embittered smile slithers across her face before getting lost in the folds of her jowls. Claire bumps into him as he passes and yells, "Don't fucking wink at me!" "That bastard is winking at me!" "Take him to the hole!" Yay! Naked Ryan coming up! Ryan curses her amphibian evil and is taken away. We next see him lying on the filthy floor of the hole, whistling, as Claire opens the tiny window thing and looks in. Ryan sees her and snaps to his feet, bending over to shade his goods. What a gyp! Claire enters, hissing, "Ryan…miss me?" She advances upon him, slams him against the wall, and begins the forceful, unnatural act that would only make sense if it were me, not her, and in a cleaner environment. Ryan looks kind of sickened as she smashes his face around with her pudgy paw while kissing his neck. Now I need a hot shower. Why is he in the hole, anyway? I thought the cage was the new way to go.

Dr. Gloria enters the infirmary while various random staffers greet her, welcoming her back. She has a shorter haircut that is supposed to make her look refreshed and healed, wiser. It just looks…shorter. Sister Pete is putting flowers in a Mason jar in Dr. Nathan's office when Gloria enters. Sister Pete schmoops that she wanted to put them on Gloria's desk before she got there. Something easily solved by, I don't know, doing it earlier? DG is touched and hugs her. She feels fresh and renewed, y'all! Pete says they'll go over cases and catch up. Then we see the result of Omar's stabbing enter the infirmary. No time for love, Dr. Jones! No time to reflect! Get in there! Cut to Sister Pete and DG, along with special guest star Tim McManus, as they review various cases: first up, Cyril O'Reily. As they discuss Cyril and how he kicked Jack Eldridge's ass last week, Pete offers that his condition is only getting worse. Dr. Nathan wants to examine him. The meeting ends, and Tim oils up and asks Gloria to dinner. She says no, but…rain check? He tries to confirm by saying, "I only mean dinner." Gloria: "I know." Run, Gloria! Ruuuuuuuuuuuuun!

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Oz

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